Nightwalker
by Titan5
Summary: John Sheppard tries to figure out why he's suddenly started sleepwalking, hopefully before he hurts himself or embarrasses himself to death.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own or have any rights to Stargate Atlantis or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

Nightwalker - Chapter 1

At the sound of the alarm, Caldwell rushed out of Elizabeth Weir's office to stand next to the gate technician. "Do we know who it is yet?" he asked anxiously.

"Not . . . wait, it's coming through now." The technician broke into a wide grin as he looked over his shoulder toward the colonel. "It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC, sir."

Caldwell breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I guess that means the rescue was a success. Let them through." He walked over to the balcony overlooking the gate room and stood where Elizabeth normally stood. He was beginning to understand the reason she was always there waiting when a team came home, especially when that team had encountered trouble.

Sheppard and Weir stumbled through the gate first, both dirty, rumpled, and bloody. They each had an arm around the other's waist and seemed to be leaning heavily on one another. Caldwell tried for a moment to decide who was supporting whom, when he finally came to the conclusion they were holding each other up.

A few seconds later, Rodney came through the gate, followed quickly by Teyla and Ronon. Rodney also looked battered, sporting a black eye, a split lip, and a slight limp. Teyla and Ronon seemed battle-weary as well, but not necessarily injured. Lorne and his team, dusty and tired, brought up the rear of the pack. The gate closed down behind them and it almost seemed like the whole group let out a breath at once.

Caldwell made his way down the steps, a smile spreading across his face. "Welcome back Dr. Weir, Colonel." As he got closer, he was suddenly aware that the pair before him was barely on their feet. Weir's upper right arm had a field bandage wrapped tightly around it, with blood managing to seep through and stain the whole thing red. Several scrapes and bruises adorned her face and lower arms. The side of Sheppard's face was smeared with fresh and dried blood from a three inch gash just above his left eyebrow. His face was heavily mottled with bruises and scrapes and he cradled his left arm around his ribcage protectively. They swayed a bit as they stopped walking.

Caldwell reached for his radio. "I'll get a medical team."

"No, we can make it," said Sheppard stubbornly. "I got her this far, I can get her to the infirmary."

Caldwell looked doubtful. "Colonel, with all due respect, you can barely stand. I can have Beckett here with a ride for both of you in just a few minutes."

Elizabeth looked at the determination in John's face. "No," she said. "He's right; we can make it on our own power. It's kind of like needing to finish something you've started, you know?"

Caldwell shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, but I'll follow along in case you collapse in the hallway."

They nodded tiredly and headed down the hall toward the infirmary, Caldwell just behind them.

"That's okay," said Rodney, clearly speaking to the backs of the people walking away. "I'm glad to be back too. No, I don't need a ride to the infirmary, but thanks for asking."

Teyla and Ronon smiled at each other and stepped up to either side of McKay. Teyla placed her hand on his shoulder. "Dr. McKay, may we walk with you to the infirmary?"

McKay smiled at her. "Yes, it's refreshing to know that at least _someone_ cares that I'm injured and traumatized to the point I can barely walk." Rodney continued to ramble as they headed off down the corridor after the others.

oOo

Sheppard craned his neck, trying to see Elizabeth as she lay on one of the infirmary beds, Beckett and a nurse blocking his view as they worked on her.

"Colonel?"

He startled, having been so distracted that he didn't notice Marcy, one of the regular nurses, walk up to stand beside him.

"Sorry, sir, didn't mean to scare you. Dr. Beckett said I should get your face cleaned up so he can stitch that cut over your eye as soon as he's finished with Dr. Weir."

"She's okay, right?" His face was drawn with a combination of worry and pain and his voice sounded strained, even to him.

Marcy placed a reassuring hand on his leg. "She's fine. Bullet just grazed her arm. The doctor's putting a few stitches in it right now and then she'll be ready to go."

Sheppard nodded and let out a deep breath. "Okay, just checking. She said she was okay, but there was so much blood I was afraid she was just trying to make me feel better."

Marcy smiled and nodded. "I know, but she's really okay. It just bled a lot at first and that made it look worse than it was. I need you to lay back for me." She began helping him turn and lay back against the pillow. He grunted and pulled his left arm in closer to his side as the motion pulled on his rib cage. Marcy frowned. "Ribs again?"

"Yeah, but I think they're just bruised this time."

"I'll let Dr. Beckett know when we're done. He may want to get some X-rays." As she moved around to stand beside his head, he sat part way up.

"Major Lorne?" Lorne, who had been headed out of the infirmary, turned to see his CO motioning him over. Lorne waved the men he was with on and walked over to Sheppard.

"Yes sir?"

Marcy pushed Sheppard back down on the bed and began wiping the blood and dirt from his face. Sheppard just grimaced. "I just wanted to say thank you and tell you what a good job you did out there today. I'm afraid we'd be in the hands of the Genii if you hadn't shown up when you did."

Lorne grinned, a bit of pride in his expression and his voice. "I have a good team, sir and we had some pretty good motivation to be successful. It's not often I get to help rescue the two leaders of Atlantis."

"Sounds like a lot of pressure to me, but you handled it well. Tell your men they did a good job and we appreciate it."

"I'll pass that on, sir. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Just need a few – OW!" Sheppard pulled away from Marcy as she cleaned the large gash on his forehead. "What is that, battery acid?" Sheppard eased himself back down, but cautiously watched Marcy in his peripheral vision.

"Don't be such a baby, I have to clean this out so you don't get an infection," she scolded as she went back to work.

Lorne tried not to snicker, pretending to rub his chin in an effort to hide his smile.

"Anyway," Sheppard continued. "I've gotta get a few stitches, but I should be along to the briefing shortly, if you'll just pass that along to Colonel Caldwell."

"I'm headed that way now, sir. We'll see you in a few minutes. I'm glad you and Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay are all okay."

"Yeah, me too. You're dismissed. And Lorne . . . I saw you grinning. You're lucky you just finished saving my butt."

Lorne smiled as he nodded. "Yes, sir!"

oOo

Sheppard and Weir were the last two to show up to the briefing. Elizabeth had been finished first, but she waited while Sheppard was stitched up and his ribs prodded and poked by Beckett, who finally concluded that they were just bruised. Sheppard wasn't too happy when Beckett limited him to light duty for a few weeks until his ribs had a chance to heal.

As the last two people took their seat, Caldwell started the meeting. "Dr. Weir, Colonel Sheppard, we're glad to see that you are both all right." Caldwell's eyes fell on McKay's hurt expression, so he sighed and added, "as well as Dr. McKay, of course."

McKay smiled and Teyla nodded at him, relieved that Caldwell had added him to the list.

Caldwell looked around the room. "All right, Colonel Sheppard, why don't you tell us exactly what happened."

Sheppard nodded, thinking back to when they had arrived on the planet that morning. Had it just been that morning? It seemed almost like it had been days ago that this whole thing had started. As Caldwell's throat clearing, he snapped his attention back to the present.

"Well, as you know we had previously contacted the Tellurians about trading with them, and they insisted on dealing with Elizabeth. When we arrived in the village, they took us to a meeting hall and we all sat around this big table. It was the five of us and then five of their head council or city council or whatever they called themselves."

"Premiere Council," said McKay.

"Yeah, Premiere Council." Sheppard nodded his thanks to McKay. "We talked for a couple of hours and we seemed to have reached an agreement when suddenly some of their soldiers march into the room and surround us. Then the head guy . . . "

"Rameck," filled in Elizabeth.

Sheppard nodded again. "Yeah, him, anyway, we asked him what was going on and he said we were being sold to the Genii. Apparently Rodney and Elizabeth and I have a price on our head. They took our weapons and said they were taking us to some holding cells until the Genii got there to pay them and claim us."

Teyla leaned forward and took over the story. "As we were being led outside, the Colonel managed to tell Ronon and I that he would draw their attention so we could slip into the trees beside the building and go for help. When we got outside, I walked near the tree line and pretended to hurt my ankle. Ronon knelt beside me as if to help. The Colonel then attacked the guards, as if he were trying to escape. Their attention was drawn to him and we were able to slip away."

Elizabeth looked at John as she remembered the events being described. John had launched into one of the most violent and focused attacks she had ever seen. He had battled several guards at once and held his own for several minutes. In that instant, she had understood how ruthless he could be and why he had been able to defeat so many Genii during the storm. She knew it had been necessary so that all the guards were focused on stopping him, allowing Teyla and Ronon to get away, but she had still been shocked. Because he had been so successful for so long, the resulting barrage against him had been brutal. They had beat him until he could no longer get up and then the commanding officer, wiping the blood away from his busted nose and split lip, had stood with the heel of his boot pressed into Sheppard's back to prevent him from moving. Elizabeth realized that John had once again picked up the story.

"By the time they realized that I was the decoy, not Teyla, it was too late. She and Ronon were long gone. They took us to a cell and locked us up to wait on the Genii. They weren't too upset since they still had the ones they could sell. They had no idea that Ronon and Teyla would be back with reinforcements so soon."

Caldwell frowned across the table. "I'm assuming they roughed you up some for causing so much trouble."

Sheppard grinned. "Just a little, why, does it show?"

McKay snorted. "You could say that. They didn't rough him up, they beat the snot out of him and I haven't figured out why he's here and not the infirmary. I'm telling you, Carson doesn't know broken ribs from a hangnail."

Sheppard shook his head. "I'm fine, McKay, the ribs are just bruised. Believe me, I've had worse. They made it look a lot worse than it really was. We'd have suffered a lot more at the hands of the Genii. I'm just glad Lorne showed up with his team when he did."

Lorne took over the account. "We didn't have any trouble figuring out where they were keeping them. The village isn't that large and everyone was talking about it and hanging around staring. Fortunately they didn't seem very organized or intelligent, so it was pretty easy to take out the guards and get in. It was the getting out that proved tricky."

Sheppard leaned his head against his right hand and closed his eyes, replaying their escape in his mind. They heard gunfire and a lot of shouting, followed by Lorne and a couple of his men making an appearance outside their cell. They had blown the door open with C4 and made their way out of the small building, only to be attacked outside. Sheppard had felt helpless since he didn't have a weapon, until he turned to see Elizabeth fall just a few feet from him. Unaware she'd just been shot in the arm, from his perspective it looked as though she'd been hit in the chest and he thought for a moment his heart would literally stop beating. He had exploded, lunging at the soldier who'd fired the shot. Catching the unskilled man off guard, he'd overwhelmed him and snapped his neck in less than a minute. Taking the dead man's weapon, he'd taken down as many as he could, running out of ammunition about the time he reached Elizabeth. He'd knelt beside her, expecting to find her dead. But she hadn't been dead. She hadn't even been wounded very seriously and he'd suddenly felt almost weak with relief, discovering he could actually breathe again.

" . . . at that point it erupted into a fist fight with the few remaining Tellurians, which didn't take long to clear up. We just got to the gate as quickly as possible after that, before they had a chance to gather reinforcements or the Genii made an appearance." Lorne leaned back in his chair as he finished his account of the rescue.

"Colonel, do you have anything to add to that?"

Sheppard looked up to find Caldwell watching him. "No sir, I don't, other than to thank Major Lorne and his men for a job well done. Oh, and Ronon, thanks for pulling that guy off McKay before he pummeled him too badly." Sheppard slid a grin toward Rodney, who looked miffed.

"I'll have you know I had everything under control. I just needed a few more minutes to get that guy just where I wanted him."

Ronon snorted. "A few more minutes and I would have been carrying you back to the gate."

McKay mumbled something under his breath, but remained silent after that.

Caldwell sighed and made a few notes on his data pad. "If no one else has anything to add, then we're done here. You may want to discuss this Genii price on your heads and how to handle it before you go off world again, but since Dr. Weir is back now, I'll leave that for you to discuss. Good job, everyone. We're dismissed and I'm sure some of you are anxious to get some rest."

Sheppard waited until everyone had filed out of the room before he began to stand. Grimacing, he held his arm against his ribcage and braced himself against the motion. He took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself before he started forward. He was almost to the door when he saw Elizabeth standing there watching him.

"You okay?" She looked worried, which surprised him since she had been the one who was shot.

"I'm good, just sore. How about you?" he asked, motioning toward her arm in a sling.

She smiled back at him. "I'm fine. You seem . . . quiet, distracted sort of. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Sheppard took a deep breath as he stopped just in front of her. His eyes drank her in and he just watched her breathe for a minute. He could smell her, not perfume exactly, but a subtle, pleasant scent that was just Elizabeth. She was alive and well and standing in front of him and that made everything okay.

"John?"

"Sorry. Guess I'm just tired and . . . you scared me back there, when you went down. I thought . . . I thought for a minute that you . . . that you were dead." He was a little afraid that she would laugh at him, but she didn't. She frowned and looked concerned as she put her hand against his cheek.

"But I'm not, I'm okay, John. I'm sorry I scared you because I happen to know how that feels." She narrowed her eyes at him as she thought of the many times she had been certain he was dead.

Sheppard smiled sheepishly. "Uh, about that, you know I don't do that on purpose. It just kind of happens."

Elizabeth grinned. "I know, just try not to do it so often. Hey, I'm going to get something to eat and then turn in early with some of Carson's magic pills. Would you care to join me in the mess hall?"

"I'd love to. It sounds like a pretty good plan to me." He hooked his right arm around her left one and they headed for the mess hall, trying to steer clear of each other's injuries as they walked.

oOo

He dreamed of Elizabeth. She was in trouble. He was running through a forest, trailing the ones that had taken her. He had to get her back before they hurt her. Her scream pierced the darkness and urged him forward, going faster and faster, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Fear clenched at his insides, making him shiver in its icy wake. He would track them however long it took. He was driven to find her, to protect her no matter what.

oOo

"John?"

The voice seemed far away, so he ignored it at first.

"John!"

Okay, now the voice was closer and more insistent and besides, his neck hurt.

Sheppard snapped his head up and opened his eyes, blinking the sleep from them. "What?" He rubbed his face and looked around. Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed, her blanket pulled up around her, clutched in her fist. "What are you doing here?" To say he was confused was an understatement. He shifted positions and inhaled sharply at the pull on his sore ribs.

Elizabeth frowned and tilted her head a little to one side. "John, this is my room. Why are _you_ here?"

Sheppard looked around the room and knew instantly it wasn't his. He was sitting in a chair beside Elizabeth's bed and . . . "Oh, crap!" He was sitting in his boss's room in a T-shirt and boxers. He closed his eyes. "I'm going to wake up now and I'll be in my own room by myself." He opened his eyes to a very bemused Elizabeth.

"Sorry, Dorothy, but you're not in Kansas anymore and you certainly aren't in your quarters."

Sheppard just bowed his head. Okay, plan B. He willed the floor to open up and swallow him, but that didn't work either.

"John, what are you doing here?"

"I . . . I don't know. The last thing I remember is going to bed in my own quarters. I don't know how I got here."

Elizabeth frowned and he looked down at the floor, but he could feel her watching him.

"Do you sleepwalk?"

Sheppard shrugged his shoulders. "No . . . well, not since I was a kid."

"You were a sleepwalker when you were a kid?" Her tone sounded more amused than angry, but Sheppard wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Just for a few weeks, then it stopped and never happened again. I can't figure out why I would start doing that now." He dared to look back up at her and found she still didn't seem angry with him. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth, I don't know how to explain this. I'll leave now." He struggled to his feet, cradling his side, and headed for the door, wanting out of the room as soon as possible.

"John, I know it's still early, but there will be people out and about at this hour. Are you sure you want to go out in the hall like that?"

He looked down, suddenly remembering he was in his boxers. Dang. Now what did he do? "Uh, not really, but I seem to have left my pants in another room. Got any suggestions?"

Elizabeth sat grinning at him for several seconds before she responded. She wasn't sure what she was enjoying more, the view or his obvious embarrassment. His expression reminded her of that of a teenage boy caught making out on the couch by his parents. Not that she would know anything about _that_ kind of thing. When he began to twist and squirm, she took pity and came to his rescue.

"I think I may have something." She stood and began rummaging through one of her drawers. Sheppard had a moment of panic as he pictured her pulling out a pair of tiny pink sweats or something equally feminine.

"Okay, how about these?" she asked as she turned around and unfolded a pair of black sweats. Sheppard almost did a double take as she handed them to him.

"These are men's," he said blankly.

"Yes, silly. What'd you think, I was going to try to get you to wear some of mine?"

Sheppard frowned as he pulled them on, remembering his musings on pink sweats from earlier. "Should I be concerned about the fact that you have men's sweats in your room?"

Elizabeth crossed her arms smugly. "I don't know. Is it any of your business?"

Sheppard felt his face flush as he tied the pants around his waist. They were a little big and he certainly didn't want to lose them in the hallway. He'd embarrassed himself quite enough for one day and it was just getting started. "No, I guess not," he mumbled.

Elizabeth snickered. "It's all right. They were Simon's and I guess I got them mixed up in my stuff when I packed. I meant to return them to him when we went back to Earth, but I forgot. I don't guess he'll ever get them back now, so keep them if you want."

Sheppard looked down at his bare feet. He hoped like heck he didn't see anyone on the way back to his room. He might be decent now, but it was still going to look odd. "I'll wash them and return them in case you get any more wayward, underdressed sleepwalkers."

Elizabeth walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. Maybe yesterday freaked me out a little more than I thought. I don't know, maybe it was something I ate. I'm okay though."

Elizabeth nodded, although she didn't look convinced. "You'd better get out of here before we feed the rumor mill."

"Yeah, okay. Hey, put your sling back on."

Elizabeth smacked him with her good arm. "I will, _Mom,_ but I sure wasn't going to sleep in that thing. Now get out of here."

Sheppard grinned and nodded. "Okay, see you later." He listened at the door for a moment before opening it and peering down the hall. When he decided it was clear, he waved goodbye and slipped into the hall, his bare feet moving quickly and quietly across the cold floor.

Elizabeth sighed heavily and leaned her back against the door. What a weird way to start the day. She smiled to herself. Sleepwalking issues aside, it was strangely comforting to think of John guarding her while she slept.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Nightwalker - Chapter 2

Sheppard sat picking at his breakfast, worrying about how he ended up in Elizabeth's room without remembering going there. He had at least made it back to his quarters without running into too many people. He'd passed two soldiers and a scientist in the corridor and had hurried past them, pretending to be on a run. He had no idea if they noticed he was barefoot or not, he had just nodded and plowed on by them as fast as humanly possible.

"May I join you?"

Sheppard looked up and nodded at Elizabeth as she set her tray on the table beside his and slid into the seat next to him. He set his fork down, giving up the pretense of eating and downed the rest of his coffee.

"I see you made it back to your room unscathed."

"Yeah, I guess. I saw a couple of people, but I went by them pretty quickly, so I don't think they noticed anything."

"Have you given any more thought to why you might have been there? Was anything upsetting you when you went to bed?" She picked up her toast and took a bite as she watched and waited for his answer.

Sheppard rubbed his eyes. "I remember dreaming about you, that someone had you and I had to find you and get you back. I felt driven to protect you for some reason. Maybe I was still upset about what happened yesterday. I don't know, this is all so strange." He rubbed his face and ran his hand back through his hair.

"John, maybe you should talk to Kate."

Sheppard gave a humorless chuckle. "I wondered when you would suggest that. Look, I was just tired and still a little on edge. I'm sure it was just a one time thing." Sheppard grinned mischievously. "It's your fault, you know. You're always accusing me of acting like a child and I guess I just matched your expectations. Besides, you should lock your door at night."

Elizabeth squinted her eyes at him. "Oh, really? It just so happens my door _was_ locked."

The clanking of trays on the table pulled their attention away and they glanced over to see McKay and Beckett sitting down across the table from them.

"What about the door locks?" asked McKay as he forked a bite of eggs.

When Elizabeth looked back at John, she could see him shaking his head ever so slightly, a frown wrinkling his forehead. "I, uh, think my door lock is broken. I thought I had locked it earlier, but then someone dropped by and came in before I could unlock it."

McKay nodded as he ate. "I'll teck it lather."

Carson rolled his eyes. "Rodney, don't talk with your mouth full. And people say they have a hard time understanding _me_."

McKay swallowed. "I said, I'll check it later. There, happy?" He shoved another bite in his mouth and chewed furiously.

Sheppard automatically pressed his left arm against his ribcage to brace the muscles as he stood up. "See you guys later. I have a run with Ronon in a bit and I don't want to keep him waiting. A cranky Ronon is not a happy Ronon and that doesn't make for a happy me either." He smiled as he picked up his tray.

"Colonel, don't be overdoing it while those ribs are healing. I'm not sure a run is such a good idea," Carson warned.

"It's okay, Doc, I'll be careful. I already warned Ronon it might be more of a light jog than a run and that I probably wouldn't make it very far. I'll quit if they start hurting."

Beckett didn't look convinced, but he conceded anyway. "All right, but I want you to check with me when you're done so I can make sure you haven't made it any worse."

Sheppard sighed. "Doc, is that really necessary? I'm just running, not fighting."

Becket waved his fork at Sheppard and used his best lecturing tone of voice. "Aye, it _is_ necessary or you'll be occupying a bed in the infirmary for the next few days where I can keep an eye on you."

Sheppard saluted the doctor. "Yes, sir. I'll report as soon as we're finished, sir."

Beckett smiled smugly. "Now, lad, that's more like it. Cooperation goes a long way in my book. I'll be watching for you."

Sheppard just shook his head as he carted his tray away. Beckett then pointed his fork at Elizabeth. "Now, where's your sling?"

oOo

Sheppard popped two ibuprofen tablets in his mouth and washed them down with some water. Then he crawled slowly into bed and pulled up the covers. He was dead tired and his ribs ached and his head hurt. He'd had his run with Ronon and pushed himself a lot harder than he'd intended. Beckett had lectured him for a good twenty minutes, calling him several things he'd never heard of and accusing him of being a "bloody fool" three or four times. He'd been shocked when the doctor gave him a small bottle of ibuprofen instead of a set of scrubs. Promising to be good, at which point Beckett had snorted rather loudly, he made a quick getaway before the good Doc changed his mind and slapped him in a bed. He'd managed to piddle the rest of the day away helping Rodney turn on a few things in the lab, checking on his men, and helping with the puddle jumper maintenance. He was purposely trying to exhaust himself so he'd sleep through the night.

And he was most definitely exhausted. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, but he kept thinking about ending up in Elizabeth's room. He had wondered all day if anyone saw him roaming the hall in his boxers, but since he hadn't heard any snickering behind his back and no one had come to lock him in the loony bin, he thought maybe he'd gotten lucky. Not taking any chances, he was sleeping in a pair of light running pants and T-shirt tonight. If he started walking around in his sleep, at least he wouldn't shock anyone this time.

By four a.m., he gave up. He'd tossed and turned all night and he was now even more tired than when he went to bed. He'd actually dozed off a few times, but always jerked awake almost immediately. He was too wound up, too afraid of sleepwalking again. He just couldn't shut down long enough to fall asleep. He climbed out of bed and went for a long jog to the outer edges of the city.

Two hours later, he hit the showers, letting the hot water wash away the sweat and loosen his tightening muscles. When he was dressed, it was time to go to the mess hall and find some coffee. He was sipping the cup of java, letting the steam rise up and warm his face, when Elizabeth sat down next to him.

"John, I need a favor."

Sheppard opened his eyes and glanced over at her. "Ask away."

Elizabeth gaped at him for minute, taking in the dull eyes, drooping eyelids, and lines of exhaustion. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Sheppard looked back down into his coffee. "Sleep's overrated," he said defensively.

"John – "

"Look, it's no big deal. Let's not blow this out of proportion. I was a little freaked out about what happened and I couldn't relax last night. I was afraid it might happen again. I'll be tired enough to sleep tonight, okay?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath. Part of her wanted to say that no, that wasn't okay and maybe he needed to see Carson or Kate about it. But part of her realized that he could very well be right and she would have created a fuss and embarrassed him for nothing. She tried to place it in the right perspective. It was just sleepwalking, after all and he wasn't hurting anyone.

"All right, John. I'll drop it."

"Good. Now, what was that favor you needed?"

Elizabeth hesitated, not so sure he was up to what she needed. He sensed her uncertainty and moved to dispel it.

"Elizabeth, just ask already."

She sighed and gave in completely. "The Athosians have found some new possible food plants in the forest around their camp on the mainland. I'm sending some of the botanists over to collect samples for testing. Teyla and Ronon are going along to help and so Teyla can spend some time with her people. Anyway, they need someone to give them a lift and since you're on light duty, I thought maybe you could do it. It would give you a chance to visit Halling and Jinto as well."

Sheppard nodded. He was always happy for a chance to fly and a nice, quiet visit to the mainland sounded like just what he needed to help him relax. "How long are they staying?"

"They want to stay overnight and come back some time tomorrow. Teyla says they have several extra tents they keep set up for when our people visit, so you'll have a place to stay."

"Okay, sounds good. When do we leave?"

Elizabeth smiled, relieved to have found a pilot and happy it would give John a chance to get away for a while. She knew he needed it, even if he was unwilling to admit it. "They want to leave about ten. Oh, I contacted Carson. He said check with him before you leave, but he thinks it will be okay."

"Okay. Guess I'd better go throw some clothes in a bag and check on my jumper."

She watched him leave and hoped he could stay awake long enough to make the flight. Maybe she would clue Teyla in on his lack of sleep so she could poke him if he dozed off at the controls.

oOo

Not only did Sheppard not go to sleep at the controls, but he actually felt sort of energized by the time the jumper took off for the mainland. He had two days of hanging around with Halling and Jinto and taking advantage of the slower pace of the Athosian people to look forward to. He hadn't realized how tense he had become lately until he began to loosen up at the thought of relaxing. Maybe this was just what he needed to solve his problem. He'd even managed to help Rodney in the lab for almost an hour before they left, so he didn't have to feel like he was shirking his duties. Beckett had ordered him not to go plant collecting with the others, but to stay around the settlement and rest and, for once, he intended to follow doctor's orders.

oOo

As darkness began to settle across the land, the Athosians prepared a large evening meal for everyone in honor of their visitors. Sheppard noticed several new dishes that he had not tasted before. As he reached for one, Teyla put her hand on his arm.

"Colonel, do you like your food . . . spicy? I believe that is the correct term."

Sheppard nodded. "Yeah, I like spicy food sometimes. Is this stuff hot?"

Teyla nodded. "It is an old dish, that has been prepared for many generations, but it is only for those with a very strong stomach."

Sheppard dipped up a spoonful, but not as much as he had intended. "Thanks for the warning. I think I'll try a little though. I've eaten some pretty strange and spicy stuff from all the weird places I've been." He tentatively put a small bit in his mouth and began chewing.

"Hey this is pretty good." He smiled and nodded to Teyla as he scooped up another bite.

"Be careful, Colonel. It is very . . . sneaky."

Sheppard had eaten almost all of it when his mouth and esophagus suddenly erupted into flames. He grabbed his cup so fast, he almost knocked it over and downed the whole thing in just a few seconds. He then grabbed Ronon's cup and emptied it as well. Gasping and panting, he fanned his open mouth as Teyla grinned and Ronon looked like he might smack him.

"Sheppard, you just drank my water."

"Sorry . . . Ronon . . . mouth . . . on fire."

Ronon grunted and looked around him to Teyla. "Didn't you warn him?"

Teyla arched one eyebrow as a warning not to question her in such a way. "I did. He chose to eat some anyway."

Ronon grunted again as he watched Sheppard. "It figures."

Sheppard would have defended himself, but he was still fanning his flaming taste buds, pretty sure he wouldn't be tasting anything for a very long time.

As the evening wore on, the team from Atlantis ended up in chairs around a fire just outside their tents, talking about the activities of the day. They were all relaxed, enjoying the cool night air and the stars above them. Teyla looked around the group until her gaze fell on Sheppard. He was leaned back in his chair with one hand on his stomach and a distinct grimace on his face. She got up and walked over to stand next to him.

"Colonel, are you all right?"

Sheppard groaned softly under his breath as he rubbed his stomach. "I don't think supper is agreeing with my stomach. I feel like there's a volcano erupting in there."

"Maybe you should go lie down."

"No, I can't lie down now, not until this stuff settles a little and quits rolling around quite so . . . " Sheppard looked pained and then suddenly stood up, making his way quickly to the edge of the forest several yards away. He stepped just beyond the treeline, out of their line of sight.

"Where's he going?" asked Ronon.

"His stomach was bothering him," responded Teyla, watching the trees for Sheppard.

After a few minutes, Ronon squinted in the direction the colonel had gone, but saw nothing. "You think I should go check on him?"

Just then, Sheppard emerged from the trees and walked gingerly back to the group around the fire, his left arm pressed carefully against his side. By now, the talking had died down and everyone was looking at him.

"Feel better?" asked Ronon, handing Sheppard a bottle of water.

Sheppard rinsed his mouth and then drank several sips of water, slowly and carefully. "Yeah, actually I do. I think I'm going to turn in now, so I don't go to sleep standing up." He headed toward the tent as the others said good night. Sheppard pulled his boots off and eased himself back on the cot, his ribs burning from the effort of emptying his stomach. He was so tired, he didn't even remember his head hitting the pillow.

oOo

Teyla sat up abruptly, listening for the sound that had awakened her. Someone was moving around outside the tent. She slipped out of the bed and eased over to the door of the tent, peering out into the darkness. She saw a lone figure, walking quietly a few yards from the tents. Slipping outside, she saw Ronon standing at the door of the men's tent and she quietly made her way over to him.

"It's Sheppard," he said before she could ask.

"What is he doing?" she whispered.

"I don't know. He got up several minutes ago and he's just been walking around out here ever since."

Teyla frowned and shook her head. "This is not like him. Perhaps he is ill again. Why did you not ask him where he was going when he left?"

"I did. He didn't answer. Guess he didn't hear me."

Teyla sighed, wondering why men didn't have more sense. She marveled at how large groups of only men warriors ever survived, because they had no idea how to take care of one another. "I'll check on him."

Ronon shrugged his shoulders, not understanding what the big deal was. "Suit yourself." He turned and went back into his tent. If Sheppard wanted to roam around outside all night, who was he to stop him?

Teyla walked up to Sheppard, careful to make a little noise so she wouldn't startle him. She was rather surprised to see he was barefoot. "Colonel Sheppard, are you all right?"

Sheppard continued walking as if he hadn't heard her. She quickened her pace and called to him again, but still no answer. Becoming frustrated, she hurried and stood right in front of him, holding her hands out to catch his shoulders so he wouldn't run over her.

"Colonel Sheppard!" She jostled him as he literally ran into her outstretched arms. His eyes were open, but he didn't seem to see her until they collided. Sheppard then rubbed his face and shook his head, looking a little dazed and a lot confused.

"Colonel Sheppard, are you okay? Maybe I should contact Atlantis and get Dr. Beckett."

Sheppard looked around a few seconds, trying to figure out where he was. "No, don't call Beckett, I'm okay." His gut tightened as he realized he'd been walking in his sleep again. Crap, this was getting out of hand.

"Colonel, what are you doing out here?"

Sheppard tried to grin, but he was glad the darkness hid what he was sure was a pitiful attempt. "I, uh, just needed to get some air."

Teyla eyed him for a few seconds before she said anything. "How long have you been a nightwalker?"

"A . . . a what?" Sheppard stammered.

"Perhaps we should sit and talk, Colonel."

Sheppard sighed deeply. He never could lie to Teyla, she could read him like a book. He rubbed his hand across his eyes and then dropped his arm to his side. "Okay."

Teyla led him away from the tents, to a little clearing with some logs and stumps. They sat side by side on one of the fallen logs. Teyla placed a hand reassuringly on his leg. "Sometimes my people experience nightwalking. They get up in their sleep and walk around their dwelling and sometimes even outside their dwelling. They are asleep, so they are unaware of what they are doing. Sometimes they awaken in a strange place and do not remember how they got there. It occurs more in children, but it may also happen in adults as well."

Sheppard looked at the ground as he listened. After a few seconds of silence, he answered Teyla's question. "We call it sleepwalking. I did it a few times when I was twelve, but not since til the other night. Then . . . night before last, out of the blue, I did it again. This makes twice now and I have no idea what's going on."

"You are worried."

"Yeah, I'm worried. I can't go on missions like this, take a chance on giving away our position to the Wraith or the Genii by taking a midnight stroll in my sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Teyla thought for a few minutes. "We had a man who nightwalked every time he ate this one dish for supper. It was very strong, much like what you ate tonight. He loved it, even though it made him nightwalk. He would get his wife to make it for him sometimes." Teyla smiled broadly. "Then, one day she quit making it for him. It seems he wandered into the woods when he was nightwalking and she couldn't find him. He awoke the next day and it took him most of the morning to walk back to his home. She was afraid he had wandered off a cliff or been attacked by an animal. It scared her so badly, she refused to ever make it for him again and he never nightwalked again."

Sheppard looked at her hopefully. "So, you think that hot stuff I ate earlier tonight might have caused it?"

Teyla shrugged. "I think it is possible."

Sheppard took a deep breath and blew it out. "Well, I won't be eating that stuff any more, that's for sure. And the other night I was really worried about Elizabeth after that deal with the Tellurians. Okay, maybe I'm not losing my mind after all."

"Colonel Sheppard, I do not think you're losing your mind, no matter what the reason for the nightwalking. You will figure it out and deal with it, of that I am certain."

Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah . . . I just wish I was as certain as you are."

Teyla patted his arm. "Right now you need to rest. Dr. Weir said you did not sleep well last night, so I know you are tired."

"Yeah, I guess I am. I just wish I could tie myself to the bed so I don't go wandering again."

"I have never known of anyone to walk twice in one night. I think it will be safe for you to sleep." She was glad to see Sheppard seemed relieved over that.

"Okay, well, let's get back to bed then. Thanks. And Teyla, I'd just as soon not tell a lot of people about this."

Teyla nodded. "I understand, Colonel. Ronon saw that you were up, but I do not believe he knew you were nightwalking."

Sheppard nodded. "Okay, thanks." They stood up and walked back to their tents to salvage the last few hours of the night. Sheppard wasn't sure if he wanted to go to sleep or not. He was equal parts exhausted and afraid and this was getting old in a hurry.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I kind of goofed and used Kavanagh in this because he's so easy to harass. I then realized that, after the events of Critical Mass, he probably wouldn't be caught dead in Atlantis. Just ignore that, if you will, and pretend he's still around. Oh, and thanks millions for the encouraging and often funny/enlightening reviews!

Nightwalker - Chapter 3

Sheppard rubbed his eyes and yawned as he walked out of the tent, looking around for signs of the others in his group. The only person he saw was Teyla, approaching him with what he could only hope was a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Colonel. I was just coming to wake you. I'm glad you were able to get some sleep." She handed the cup carefully over to him. "This is the last of the coffee the others made earlier. They have gone to collect their plant samples and said to tell you they should return after lunch."

Sheppard nodded. "Thanks, Teyla." He sipped the coffee and sighed.

"Does your stomach feel better this morning?"

"Yeah, not bad. Kind of sore, but I don't feel sick or anything."

"I could get you something to eat," Teyla offered as they sat down in the chairs around the dead campfire.

"No, that's okay. I'm not really hungry yet. I may get something later. Right now the coffee is all I want."

Teyla frowned. "I wouldn't think that would be a good thing to put on an upset stomach."

"Well, it's not really upset any more, just not ready for food. And, truth be told, my stomach doesn't really want the coffee but my mouth does. This will be fine for now and I'll eat something later."

"As you wish, Colonel. What are you going to do this morning?"

"I think Jinto's coming by with the football I brought him from Earth. I'm going to throw him a few passes, nothing big."

Teyla eyed him carefully. "You are not planning on letting them . . . tackle you, are you?"

Sheppard laughed, almost choking on the sip of coffee he had been taking at the time. "Heavens, no, even _I'm_ not that crazy. Can you imagine what Beckett would do to me? Between the ribs and the stomach, I'm doing as little as possible today. I'll toss the boys a few passes and then maybe see if I can borrow Halling's hammock for a while."

"What is a hammock?"

"You know, that thing Halling has strung between the trees, to lay down in."

"Oh," said Teyla, nodding her head. Obviously they called it something else, but she didn't elaborate and Sheppard didn't care enough to ask. "I trust you slept better the remainder of the night."

"Yeah, I guess I was exhausted because I don't think I moved again until I woke up a little while ago."

"Good, I know you needed it. You still look tired though."

"Hey, like I said, nap in the hammock right after we toss the ball around. That way you can report to Beckett that I was a good boy." He grinned and winked at her, as if he knew a secret.

Teyla sighed in exasperation. "I am not reporting to Dr. Beckett, nor am I acting on instructions from him. I am simply concerned about you as my friend."

Sheppard narrowed his eyes and studied her, trying to determine if she was telling the truth.

"Actually, Colonel, the only one who said anything was Dr. Weir and she said to make sure you didn't go sleep at the controls of the jumper on the way over here."

"Oh, she did, did she? Hmm. I may need to have a little talk with her."

Teyla patted his arm. "She was only concerned about how tired you seemed. I would not be too harsh."

Sheppard flashed his lopsided grin. "Oh, I won't be, but I think a little teasing is in order."

"Colonel Sheppard! Colonel Sheppard!" They both looked up to see Jinto and several other boys of various ages running toward them. They skidded to a stop just in time to avoid running headlong into the pair of adults. "Are you ready?"

Sheppard winked at Teyla. "Yep, I'm ready. Are you guys ready to catch some awesome passes?" He got up and caught the ball as Jinto threw it to him. Tossing his now empty cup into the trash bag beside their tent, he followed the boys as they headed toward the clearing where he and Teyla had talked the night before.

He ended up playing ball with the kids and then showing them some other earth games until lunch. By the time they sat down to eat, he was exhausted. He thought it was a good tired, though, as he'd enjoyed just kicking back and having fun for once.

As Teyla cleared the last bite from her plate, Ronon nudged her. She turned toward him and started to ask what he needed, when he smiled and nodded toward Sheppard, sitting to her other side. She glanced over to see the Colonel sitting with his chin resting in his left hand and his eyes closed. His right hand lay on the table with his fork danging over his plate from his limp fingers. She half expected to hear him snore.

Sighing, she patted his arm. "Colonel Sheppard?"

Sheppard immediately straightened and yawned, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes. He looked around for a second, obviously trying to get his bearings. After a couple of seconds, he looked around to Teyla.

"What?"

Teyla tried not to smile too much, as she didn't want to appear to be laughing at him. "I believe you were asleep."

"Uh, no I wasn't. I was just resting my eyes."

Ronon snorted, sending a spray of crumbs across his plate. Sheppard leaned around Teyla and frowned at the Satedan.

"Problem, Ronon?" His tone of voice dared the runner to contradict him.

Ronon coughed to keep from choking and then drank from his glass. "Oh, no problem. Resting your eyes. Yeah, I could see that."

Teyla frowned at Ronon before turning back to Sheppard. "Perhaps you would like to lie down before we have to head back to Atlantis."

Sheppard stifled another yawn. "No, if I lie down I probably won't get back up. The others will be back soon and we'll need to get loaded up and head back."

"You could always rest your eyes for a while," came Ronon's voice from the other side of Teyla.

Sheppard leaned over just enough to see Ronon. "The next time we have to drag Kavanagh along on a mission, guess who pulls scientist babysitting duty?" Sheppard continued in his best announcer-style voice. "Ding! Ding! That's right! You do! Yes, you have won the opportunity to spend time with the galaxy's most annoying and egotistical human being. Congratulations!"

Ronon just glared at Sheppard for several seconds. "Very funny, Sheppard. Do I have to keep him alive?"

Sheppard put his finger on his chin and looked up as if thinking. "I guess that depends on how nice you are to me between now and then."

Ronon nodded. "Okay, I can play nice."

oOo

Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon stepped out of the back of the puddle jumper to be met by Elizabeth and Rodney. Several other scientists swarmed around them to meet with the botanists on the ship and begin unloading.

"So, I take it the trip was a success," said Elizabeth, listening to the buzz of excited voices going on around them.

Sheppard turned to glance at the ecstatic group busily playing show and tell with their samples in the cargo hold of the jumper. "You could say that, yeah. They found several new fruits and nuts and a couple of roots they think we can harvest for food from the forest. They just have to test them first and make sure none of them are toxic."

"Great! It would be nice to have a steady of supply of fresh fruit for once and to not have to depend on successful trading to get it."

McKay rolled his eyes impatiently. "Yes, yes, as much as I'd love to stand here for hours discussing the possibilities of fresh fruit, some of us have actual work to do. Colonel, I need you in one of the labs and I need you yesterday, if you get my drift, so if you could just quit lollygagging around and come with me."

"Lollygagging? McKay, I just got back from the mainland. I haven't had time to lollygag yet."

"Whatever, just come on," McKay said impatiently.

"Hold up a minute," interrupted Elizabeth. "John, you're to check in with Carson before you do anything else."

Sheppard's lower jaw dropped. "What for? This was _not_ a mission, I just flew the jumper to the mainland and back. I know he likes to be protective, but this borders on overbearing."

Elizabeth crossed her arms and grinned. "He thought you might feel that way, so he told me to tell you that the threat to plant you in an infirmary bed still applies if you don't come see him in an appropriate amount of time. You might as well stop whining and go."

"I'm not whining," he said with a pout.

Ronon smiled. "Sort of like you weren't sleeping?"

Sheppard sighed loudly as he headed toward the door. "Kavanagh, Ronon. You are so getting Kavanagh . . . and soon."

McKay hurried after Sheppard. "I still need you in the lab just as soon as Carson gets through with you, so if you could just pick up the pace a little . . ."

Elizabeth watched them leave and then turned back to Ronon and Teyla, both of them grinning broadly. "Kavanagh?"

Ronon just shrugged. "Long story." As he and Teyla moved to leave, Teyla glanced at Elizabeth with a look that told the leader she would fill her in later.

It was Elizabeth's turn to sigh. Sometimes she felt as though she was completely out of the loop and had no idea about half the stuff that occurred in Atlantis.

oOo

Beckett was waiting for Sheppard, almost as if he knew the man was about to make an appearance. He patted the bed in front of him. "Let's give you a quick check, Colonel."

"Elizabeth?" inquired Sheppard.

"Aye, she told me you were on your way. And don't start your complaining. I just want to check your stitches and your ribs."

Sheppard eased himself up on the bed and lay back against the pillow. "Doc, I didn't even go on a mission. I just flew a jumper to the mainland. I can do that when I'm only half conscious. Come to think of it, I've actually done that a time or two."

Beckett inspected the stitches in Sheppard's forehead. "I'm well aware of that, Colonel. You're stitches look good, you're healing nicely." Beckett pulled Sheppard's shirt up and began probing his ribs. "I also know that a certain Athosian boy you're fond of happens to have a football and I know when you get together with him, there is often rough-housing that ensues. Just making sure you didn't aggravate your injuries."

As Beckett pressed against Sheppard's stomach, he grunted and pulled his legs up a few inches against the pain. Beckett's expression went from amusement to surprise to concern in just a few seconds.

"Colonel?"

Sheppard let his legs slide back down to the bed. He inhaled deeply and blew the breath out slowly, his hand against his stomach. "Uh, I guess I'm kind of sore there, Doc."

"I can see that. Would you care to enlighten me on why?"

Sheppard chewed the inside of his lip for a few seconds, considering how much he wanted to share. "It's kind of embarrassing."

Beckett smiled and patted Sheppard's arm in an almost fatherly fashion. "Son, I'm your doctor. There's no reason to be embarrassed. Just tell me what happened."

Sheppard sighed, wondering why everything he did lately seemed to have a humiliation factor attached. "I tried out a new Athosian dish, one that was really hot. I'm talking flame-thrower hot. The problem was, it didn't get to the flame-thrower stage until I had eaten most of it. After it rumbled around in my stomach for an hour or so, there was a full scale eruption that would have given Mt. St. Helen's a run for its money." Sheppard frowned and looked distant for a moment. "I think I made the Pegasus version of a squirrel pass out."

Beckett chuckled. "No wonder you're sore. How has your stomach been today? Any more nausea?"

"No, not really. I haven't eaten much for fear of stirring it up again, but so far it's been okay. I'm just a little sore."

"I noticed your ribs were a little more tender than yesterday. I'm sure that probably contributed . . . along with playing football with the boys."

"Hey, all I did was throw a few passes. And I may have taught them to play soccer."

Beckett shook his head. "Colonel – "

"Colonel, are you still in here? What are you doing, getting a liver transplant?" McKay charged into the infirmary, almost bumping into one of the nurses. "Carson, I need him in the lab. When are you going to let him out of here?"

Sheppard grimaced as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. "What's the hurry, Rodney? Is something about to blow up?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I think we may have that console fixed you tried to activate for me the other day and I want to check it. I need your gene."

Sheppard smirked. "Well, gee, Rodney, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet."

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean. You're such a juvenile, I have no idea how you made it to Lt. Colonel. Doesn't say much for the U.S. Air Force, if you ask me. And I _certainly_ have no idea how you passed a Mensa test. Brings new meaning the term sheer dumb luck."

Sheppard crossed his arms. "Are you sure you want someone as lowly as I am helping you in the lab? I might break something."

"Yes, I'm sure you will, but I need you anyway. So, are you coming or not?"

Sheppard looked at Beckett inquisitively and the doctor nodded. "Okay, Colonel, you can go. Let me know if you have any problems and get some rest. You look like you're exhausted."

Sheppard slid off the bed, wincing slightly as his feet hit the floor. "Thanks, Doc, I will," he called as he followed McKay out the door.

Several minutes later, they entered a lab down the hall from McKay's lab. Walking across the room, they approached a console about five feet long sitting against the back wall. McKay had the front panels pulled off and a laptop hooked up to it. Radek Zelenka was checking the connections between the two pieces of equipment.

"I got him," reported McKay as they entered the room.

"Ah, good," said Zelenka, rubbing his hands together and smiling. "Now we see if adjustments help machine work."

Sheppard regarded the console in front of him, his head tilted slightly to one side. "Do you have any idea what this thing does yet?"

McKay sighed. "Let's review, shall we?" said McKay sarcastically. "We haven't been able to get the thing fully turned on, much less functioning, and the Ancients forgot to leave us the instruction manual when they abandoned the city, so no, we don't know what it does."

Sheppard looked at McKay, his expression neutral. "You know, a simple no would have sufficed."

Zelenka stepped around McKay to make eye contact with Sheppard. "We don't know what machine does, Colonel, but we suspect some kind of sensor or scanner."

Sheppard nodded and smiled at the short scientist, who was pushing his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. "Thank you, Dr. Zelenka. It's nice to see at least one person around here with some manners."

McKay snorted. "Oh, please. Can we just get on with it? Do your thing, Colonel. The Ancient device thing, not the Ancient women thing."

"Funny, McKay. How about if I tell it to seek out and destroy sarcastic scientists?"

Zelenka laughed and McKay shot him a look that could freeze molten lava. Zelenka stopped mid laugh and began busying himself checking the connections again, but not before grinning at Sheppard.

Sheppard stepped up to the console and put his hands on the top. He concentrated, thinking the device on. Lights on the machine flickered and he felt a tingle in his hands, moving up his arms. The machine began to make a low humming sound, causing McKay to begin working furiously on the laptop. A few seconds later, the lights seemed to spasm and then flickered out entirely, the hum slowly fading away.

"No!" yelled McKay. "We were so close." He quit typing and leaned back, dropping his arms limply to his side. He looked up at Sheppard, who continued to stand there with his hands pressed to the console, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

"All right, Colonel, it's gone."

It was several seconds before Sheppard finally straightened up, rubbing his hands together and then rubbing his forearms in an attempt to make the tingling sensation go away. "What happened?"

"Back to square one." McKay scratched his head in frustration, leaving his hair standing up in several different directions.

"Not a total loss, Rodney. You managed to get some data before it shut down. Maybe that will tell us what we need to know." Zelenka looked up from the computer screen to see the two men standing side by side, their hair standing up in similar fashion. Both looked frustrated with the recent events, their expression mirroring one another. He couldn't help it, he began to laugh.

McKay scowled at his friend and colleague. "What's so funny?"

"Twins," he managed between bouts of laughter.

Sheppard and McKay looked at one another, shrugged their shoulders, and looked blankly back at Zelenka, which only served to increase his laughter.

Sheppard just shook his head, which only made him realize he had the beginnings of a headache. He'd been expecting it as he usually got one when he went without sleep and it had arrived, special delivery. "O-kay. If you guys don't need me, I'm out of here. I've got other fish to fry."

"No," said McKay, annoyance clearly in his voice and expression. "Looks like we'll need to look at the data and then do some more tweaking. I'll call you when we're ready to try again, but it may be tomorrow."

"Just don't call me in the middle of the night. I plan on actually getting some sleep tonight." As Sheppard turned to go, he stumbled and almost fell. McKay caught him by the arm and pulled him back upright.

"You okay?" McKay asked, his brow furrowed.

"Fine, just took a wrong step. Guess I'm more tired than I thought, that or more clumsy," he grinned. "Try not to blow anything up while I'm gone."

"Ha ha!" said McKay to his retreating back. "I'm not the one who likes to play with explosives, Colonel C4."

Zelenka grimaced at McKay and sighed. "Colonel C4?"

McKay scowled back at the scientist. "Oh, get back to work, Radek. Everyone's a critic."

oOo

McKay bustled down the corridor, quietly murmuring to himself about the lack of food availability in the mess hall just because of the late hour. He turned the corner and almost collided with Sheppard. McKay swerved to the right so quickly that he bumped the wall and almost ended up on the ground. Regaining his balance, he noticed Sheppard still walking down the hall as if nothing had happened.

"Well, excuse you and I'm fine, thanks." He whirled around and hurried to catch up, falling in step with the pilot. "You know that was unusually rude, even for you. What are you doing up at this hour, I thought you were going to get some sleep? Oh, if you're heading for the mess hall, don't waste your time. They don't believe in having food late at night for those of us that are concerned enough about Atlantis to burn the midnight oil. You can rummage around and find a piece of fruit or make a sandwich or something, and that's about it."

McKay turned down the corridor leading to the mess hall, only to discover Sheppard had gone the other direction. He stopped talking long enough to turn around and catch back up with the man. "No mess hall, huh. Where are you going? Never mind. Hey, I think we've made progress with that sensor console, or whatever it is. We'll be ready to try again tomorrow. We might could try right now if you want, er, uh, no we can't. Radek still has one adjustment on his end and he actually quit and went to bed, if you can believe that. Good help is so hard to find these days, especially in another galaxy. Oh, I turn here. See you tomorrow, uh, later today. I'll call you when we're ready."

McKay broke off and turned down the hall that led to his quarters, figuring he might as well get a few hours sleep since he couldn't do anymore alone. He had only gone a few steps when he stopped and looked back down the empty corridor. "Was he barefoot?"

oOo

Yawning, John opened his eyes and began to stretch. As the sleep cleared from his eyes, he froze and felt the all too familiar sense of panic tighten his gut. He glanced down to his left and there was Elizabeth, asleep in her bed. _Not again_, he thought. He carefully stood and began slowly and quietly moving toward the door. Maybe he could get out before she woke up. He was almost there when his plan to escape hit a snag.

"John?"

Sheppard hung his head and sighed. This was already starting out to be a very bad day.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I was trying to keep up with answering all the reviews, but I'm hopelessly behind. I'm very sorry about that and don't think I'm not reading them or don't appreciate them. I LOVE them all, I'm just swamped and trying desperately to give nightly updates. If I could just figure out how to go without sleep, I could keep up (I think).

Nightwalker - Chapter 4

"John, I see you've been sleepwalking again."

Sheppard turned around slowly, cringing at how close he had come to escaping unnoticed. At least he wasn't standing there in his boxers like the last time.

"Uh, good morning Elizabeth. Sleep well?"

Elizabeth arched one eyebrow at him and he knew he was in trouble.

"John, you can't keep doing this. I think it's time to call for help."

"No! Look, just give me one more chance. I have a plan. I promise you, you will _not_ wake up to find me in your room tomorrow." She didn't give in immediately, but he could tell by her expression she was wavering. "Please, Elizabeth . . . one more chance."

Elizabeth sighed and wished he didn't look quite so much like a boy pleading for a puppy. How did he do that, anyway? She could feel her resolve melting away like ice cream on a summer day. "Oh, all right, one more chance. But if I see you in here again uninvited, we go to Kate and Carson and ask for help, no arguments."

"Deal," he said quickly. "Thanks, Elizabeth, you won't regret it. I better get out of here." Almost before she blinked, he was gone. She smiled as she realized why he had made such a hasty retreat. He was afraid she would change her mind.

oOo

Sheppard was taking a jog around the far reaches of the city, looking for a place to spend the night, when McKay called. He figured if he slept far enough away from Elizabeth's room, he'd never find his way there even if he did sleepwalk.

"Colonel, where are you? We're ready for you now."

Sheppard slowed his jog and leaned over, his hands resting on his thighs. "What do you mean, you're ready for me?" He pulled one hand up to gently press against his aching ribs as he worked on slowing his breathing.

"Hel-lo! I told you last night I'd call you when we were ready for you to activate the console again. Do you listen when I talk?"

Sheppard had no idea what McKay was talking about and was about to say just that when he realized what the probable cause was. Time to cover for himself. "Okay, well, I'm on the far side of the city jogging, so give me about an hour."

"An hour! We're ready for you now. What are you doing all the way over there and why are you jogging, I thought you usually ran? Does Carson know you're doing that?"

Sheppard shook his head. "I'm jogging because my ribs don't really want me to run just yet. And besides, I don't remember you giving me a timeline on this thing." That was true, because he didn't remember any part of the conversation. But he was pretty sure from what McKay had said so far that he hadn't been given a specific time.

"Fine, fine. Just get here as fast as you can."

"Will do." Sheppard grinned, happy to have made it out of that dilemma. He looked down the hall he was standing beside. Could be just what he needed. He opened the first door he came to and looked inside. It wasn't a large room, but it was basically empty. It looked like it had been used as a storeroom at one time. Perfect place to bed down and stay out of trouble. He'd just return at bedtime with a blanket and pillow. Relieved at having solved one problem, he began the jog back to the city.

One hour later, Sheppard strolled into the lab, hair still damp from his shower. "Honey, I'm home."

McKay looked up from his computer screen. "It's about time. I see you had time for your beauty shower and make up. Now get your skinny butt over here and activate this console sometime today."

Sheppard rolled his eyes as he walked over to the ancient equipment and pulled up a stool. He placed his hands on the console and began to think it on. Almost immediately, the panel lit up and a low hum began to be emitted. Sheppard flinched at the jolt of power he that surged through him. His vision whited out and all sound faded into the background as a low-level buzzing filled his ears.

McKay and Zelenka were busy watching the readings on the computer screen. At first the data began to pour out smoothly and then, once again, the light flickered as the power fluctuated wildly.

McKay began to mutter. "No, no, no, not now. Why is this . . . Radek, tighten the blue crystal, I think it's loose. Come on baby, don't do this to me now." The power surged upward, causing the lights to momentarily brighten, before going dark, the hum slowly fading away to silence. McKay sat back in his chair in dismay. "Great. Here we go again. Guess you're done Colonel. Radek and I have more work to do."

The two scientist crowded around the laptop and began to bring up the data from the failed attempt at activation. "Look, Radek, right here. There's a power surge that seemed to . . . are you listening to me?" He had looked up to find Zelenka looking over his shoulder and past him.

Zelenka pointed behind McKay. "Look, Rodney, at Colonel Sheppard."

McKay turned around and looked at Sheppard, who was still sitting with his hands on the console, staring blankly at the back wall. McKay glanced back at Zelenka, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Colonel?" Sheppard gave no response. McKay leaned over and touched Sheppard on the arm. "Colonel Sheppard?"

Sheppard blinked slowly a couple of times and then looked at McKay. "What?"

McKay frowned, now worried that the power surge had somehow affected the pilot. "Are you okay? Maybe I should call Beckett."

Sheppard's head was finally beginning to clear enough to understand what McKay was saying. "No, don't call Becket . . . I'm okay. Just got distracted." He put his hand up to his head and rubbed his temple, sharp pains beginning to twist through his skull.

McKay looked uncertain. "I don't know, maybe I should call him anyway. You don't look so good."

Sheppard stood up suddenly. "I'm fine! How many times do I have to say that? Just call me if you ever really get this thing fixed so I can drop what I'm doing and come running, yet again!" The colonel stalked angrily from the room, knocking a chair over as he left.

The two men sat silently watching the doorway Sheppard had just exited through, their eyes wide in amazement. "Colonel doesn't usually get so angry," observed Zelenka.

McKay frowned and nodded. "No, he doesn't. Something's definitely going on."

All the way back to his quarters, the headache escalated until nausea rolled through his stomach and pinpoints of light marred his vision. As soon as he entered his room, he raced for the bathroom and emptied his stomach, heaving until his ribs protested loudly. Sheppard staggered to the bed, so dizzy he could barely stand, and collapsed on top of the blankets. The headache was blinding and incapacitating now, making him unable to get up and call for help, even if he'd wanted to. The flashing lights slowly faded away as he slipped into darkness.

oOo

Sheppard woke several hours later to a dull, throbbing headache and a dry mouth. He gingerly pushed himself up and climbed off the bed. Making his way to the bathroom, he rinsed his face and drank some water, downing some pain relievers as well. It was after supper time, but he wasn't hungry. He debated going to see Beckett, but the intense pain from before was just a faint memory and he convinced himself it had just been a headache. He had to admit, the stress and lack of sleep were beginning to get to him.

Sheppard stuffed a couple of bottles of water and powerbars, as well as his book and a flashlight into a pack. He then took the pack, a pillow, and one of his blankets and headed for the far side of the city, knowing it would take several minutes to reach his destination.

When he finally reached the empty storage room, it was almost dark. Thankful that his headache was better, he dumped his gear in the room and decided to explore some of the surrounding rooms. He poked around with the flashlight for two hours before deciding to turn in. Returning to the storeroom, he dragged the remnant of a chair into the room and used it to block the door, hoping it would slow him down in the event he went sleepwalking. Maybe he was so far away from the occupied areas that he wouldn't be seen by anyone, wandering around the city in his sleep. He curled up on the blanket in the far corner of the room.

He squirmed and shifted and finally got up and paced a while. Two hours later, he drifted off into an uneasy sleep, his head still pounding as he tried in vain to get comfortable.

He dreamed of Wraith in the city, attacking and killing everyone in their path. Sheppard was one step behind them, coming across the dead, desiccated husks of people that had once been his friends. His frustration grew at each corpse. Why couldn't he catch them? He followed the carnage to Elizabeth's door and thought it open, terrified of what was inside. His eyes locked onto Elizabeth's dying eyes, her face withering and drawing as he watched the Wraith suck the life from her. Through it all, he just stood and watched as she silently begged him to help her. He was frozen in place, unable to move. The Wraith finished and the shell of his friend dropped to the floor, shattering on impact as the abomination laughed at him from across the room.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Dr. Weir."

Sheppard opened his eyes and lifted his head from the floor a few inches. He was lying on his stomach, the floor cool and hard beneath him.

"John? John, this is Elizabeth, can you hear me?" Realizing the voice was coming from his radio, he keyed the mike and responded.

"Elizabeth, it's John. What's up?"

"John, where are you? I've been trying to reach you off and on for almost half an hour now so we could meet and discuss some things."

Sheppard pulled himself up to a sitting position, groaning as he strained aching back muscles. His hands and knees also protested the forced pressure against the floor as he moved about. He looked around, remembering where he was supposed to be and realizing this wasn't it. He was in a corridor inside the uninhabited area of the city, but he didn't recognize it at all. Great, he had no idea where he was.

"John, where are you?"

Sheppard sighed. "What do we need to meet about?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

"John . . . what's wrong?"

She knew. He wasn't sure exactly how, although the lack of response on his part for an extended period of time when he should have been around had to have been a clue. "Nothing's wrong, when do you need to see me?"

"Now."

Crap. "Now's not good for me, how about in . . . a couple of hours."

There was a pause, which he was pretty sure wasn't going to work in his favor. "John Sheppard, you either tell me where you are or you appear in my office pronto! That is not request."

Busted. "I'm . . . not exactly sure where I am."

Another pregnant pause. "How do you not know where you are? Unless, perhaps, you've been sleepwalking again."

So busted. His head hurt, along with his back, and knees. He was sitting there looking at his hands, scraped and scratched and raw from what? He had no idea. Maybe it was time to be worried. "Okay, this is what happened. I bunked in the uninhabited part of the city last night so that if I did the sleepwalking thing, I wouldn't bother anyone this time. But when I woke up just now, I discovered I'm not where I started and I have no idea where I am. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get back because I'm not sure what direction I even need to go."

Another one of those annoying bouts of silence, during which he was sure she was probably condemning him to the nut house.

"Okay, just contact me the minute you get back."

"I will. Sheppard out." He sat there a second, looking around and gathering his thoughts. He finally got to his feet, groaning as his back protested and his headache kicked up again. He looked down at the knees of his pants and saw that they were scuffed just above where his knees burned and ached. At some point, he must have taken a fall. How do you fall down and skin yourself up and not wake yourself up? He was beginning to get frightened at how out of control this was getting. It took a minute to get his achy body moving, but then he loosened up and made better time.

He realized thirty minutes into his walk that if he'd gone the opposite direction, he could have hit a transporter in two minutes and been almost back to his quarters. By the time he made the discovery, however, he was too far along to turn back, so he kept walking. What could have been a ten minute trip if he'd realized where he was took almost an hour of painful walking. By the time he reached his quarters, the headache had reached monumental proportions. As he rounded the last corner, he saw two people standing outside the door to his room. Carson and Elizabeth stood looking down the hall expectantly. If he'd seen them a second earlier, he might have considered turning around and running the opposite direction, but he didn't see them until they saw him. No use running now.

Elizabeth hurried down the hall in his direction. "John, are you all right?"

Sheppard sighed as he opened the door to his room and walked in. "I'm fine, just tired. I managed to miss the only transporter in the area and had to walk all the way back. I assume I've been the topic of conversation." He tried to walk normally, but he was pretty sure he was doing a poor job. His back and ribs were protesting loudly and he kept trying not to jar himself too much. Every step seemed to fire up nerve endings somewhere.

"John, I was worried when I couldn't reach you this morning. You weren't in your quarters and no one had seen you since last night. I was afraid something had happened."

Sheppard turned around to find Beckett standing beside him. "Let me see those," he said, taking hold of Sheppard's wrists and turning his hands over so he could see the raw, scraped palms.

Sheppard tried to pull away, but only succeeded in making his back and ribs pull. "It's just some scratches," he snapped, his voice heavy with irritation.

Carson held on firmly. "What happened, Colonel?"

Sheppard quit pulling, too tired and sore to fight it any longer. "I guess Elizabeth has filled you in by now on my recent . . . sleeping problems." Beckett nodded. "I tried spending the night in the far edge of the city so I wouldn't disturb anyone with my sleepwalking, I just woke up like this when Elizabeth called me on the radio. I assume I went wandering again and fell at some point."

Beckett took in the skinned hands and his gaze went down to Sheppard's scuffed pant legs. "Are your knees skinned as well?"

Sheppard grunted under his breath. "I don't know. There wasn't really anywhere to drop my pants and look," he said sarcastically. "But they are kind of sore, so probably so."

Beckett nodded, ignoring the attitude. "I also noticed you walking a bit off from your normal gait. Have you injured your back?"

"It aches a little, so I guess I twisted it when I fell. Look guys, I fell and skinned myself up a little bit. I've done worse than this falling off my skateboard. I really just want to take a shower, get a bite to eat, and crawl into bed. Surely that's a plan you can both approve of."

Carson nodded. "Yes, with one addition. I want to disinfect those cuts after you've washed up."

"That's not necessary, Doc. I know how to use soap."

Beckett's voice and expression hardened a little. "That may be, Colonel, but we have no idea where or how you got those cuts. That means we don't know what you may have been exposed to. So, if you don't mind, and even if you do, I'll be checking those abrasions myself in a wee bit."

Sheppard realized the doctor was right and nodded in agreement. "Okay, you win."

"Okay," said Elizabeth. "How about if I grab you some breakfast while Carson gets his kit and you get cleaned up? Any requests?"

Sheppard said, "Coffee," at the same time Beckett said, "No coffee."

Sheppard sighed, the fight gone out of him. "Whatever looks edible and some juice, I guess."

"And milk," added Carson.

"I don't like plain milk," said Sheppard.

"Then get chocolate," suggested the doctor.

Sheppard's eyes widened. "We have chocolate milk?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, where have you been?"

Sheppard sighed and shook his head. "Drinking coffee, I guess."

"So get him some chocolate milk," instructed Beckett.

"How long have we had chocolate milk?"

Elizabeth continued to grin, amused by Sheppard's obvious confusion. "The Daedalus started bringing it run before last due to all the requests. They bring it frozen and we thaw it as we use it."

Sheppard grinned. "I like chocolate milk."

oOo

The hot water burned his hands and knees at first, but felt good on the sore muscles of his back. When he finally felt clean, Sheppard climbed out of the shower and began to dry off. He was about to get dressed when there was a knock on the door.

"Colonel, I want to have a look at those knees before you get dressed," Beckett called through the door.

"Just a sec, Doc." Sheppard pulled on his boxers and a T-shirt before letting the doctor in.

"Have a seat, Colonel."

Sheppard sat down, feeling silly as Beckett wiped his skinned and bruised knees with disinfectant. He sucked in a deep breath at the burn of the liquid on his raw flesh. It only took a few minutes, and then Beckett left so he could finish dressing. The doctor was waiting on him when he emerged from the bathroom, and repeated the process with the palms of his hands. About the time he was finishing up, Elizabeth arrived with three trays of food.

"I got us all a tray," she explained. "I figured we could just eat together while we sort this thing out."

Sheppard was somewhat amazed. "How did you carry three trays at once?"

Elizabeth grinned. "I worked as a waitress when I was in college. At one time, I could carry up to seven plates without dropping them. I guess I haven't lost my touch."

The three of them sat down at the table and began eating. "John," she said. "We can't let this go on. It's mildly amusing here in Atlantis, but obviously we can't have you going on missions where this might happen. And it seems as if it can be a little dangerous."

Sheppard poked at his food, knowing she was right. "Elizabeth, I don't know what to do. I don't seem to have any control over it. I don't know why this is happening."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and prepared for the fight. "You need to talk to Kate. I can't help but think that something is bothering you and it's manifesting itself with the sleepwalking."

Sheppard groaned. "I just don't see what talking to her is going to do. If something is bothering me, she's not going to make it go away."

"Maybe not, but she can help you identify it so you can start dealing with it." Elizabeth placed a hand reassuringly on his arm. "Please John, just try."

He blew out a slow, deep breath. "Okay, I'll try."

Elizabeth smiled and relaxed her shoulders. "Thank you. Look at it this way, it can't hurt."

Sheppard wasn't sure that was true, but decided to keep quiet on the matter. They finished eating in silence and then stacked up their dirty trays.

"Off to bed with you, Colonel," encouraged the doctor.

Sheppard was so tired and achy that he decided not to complain. He climbed into bed and quietly let Beckett check his ribs and back, before tucking him in. He expected Beckett to offer him Tylenol for his aches, but the next thing he knew, the doctor was pulling out a syringe.

"I want to be sure you actually get some sleep and I don't think Tylenol will do it," explained Beckett as he injected the contents into the Colonel's arm.

A few minutes later, Sheppard was vaguely aware of Carson and Elizabeth leaving as he drifted off to sleep, hoping that he stayed put for once.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Note:** You guys are so sweet and encouraging with the reviews. Thank you to each and every one of you!

Nightwalker – Chapter 5

Sheppard reached up and tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes. He felt sluggish and achy as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. Groggy, he just sat there for several minutes, trying to convince himself to get moving. Stifling a yawn, he finally swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, swaying a moment as he got his balance. He glanced down at the clock on his way to the bathroom. He'd slept five hours and it was now the middle of the afternoon.

Several minutes later, he was dressed and movements were getting easier as he got his muscles stretched out and loosened. His stomach rumbled and he decided the first order of business would be a sandwich in the mess hall. He walked out the door and bumped into Lt. Cadman, nearly knocking her over.

"Sorry, Lt.," said Sheppard as he held onto her arm, preventing her from hitting the ground and pulling her back upright. He grimaced, the action pulling on is back muscles and stinging his raw hands. "I wasn't expecting anyone to be out here."

Cadman regained her footing quickly. "No problem, sir. Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Sheppard noticed the lieutenant shifting uncomfortably and looking like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Lt. Cadman, exactly what are you doing here?"

"Uh, nothing, sir. Just leaving sir." She turned her back to him and started to walk away.

"Freeze! Get back over here and I mean now."

Cadman winced as she turned and walked back over to face her commanding officer. "Yes, sir?" she said, fake innocence evident in her voice.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously as he crossed his arms. "Are you standing guard at my door?"

"Uh, sir . . . I'd rather not answer that on the grounds that it could get me a month of night duty."

"I want to know what your orders are and who gave them to you right now or you'll be doing a lot more than a month of night duty." There was a brief moment of silence while Cadman obviously considered the Colonel's words. "Lt., may I remind you that, although I am on light duty right now, I'm still the acting military commander of this base and that means you answer directly to me."

Cadman sighed, knowing she was efficiently boxed in. "Okay, sir. Major Lorne ordered me to stay by your door and watch for you to come out."

Now he was getting somewhere. "And what were you to do if I came out, other than try to avoid falling on your butt."

Cadman flushed lightly. "I was to speak to you and if you answered, just report to Lorne and go on my way. If you didn't acknowledge me, I was to . . . wake you up."

Now it was Sheppard's turn to flush and he could feel the heat crawling up his neck and spreading across his face. How many people knew he was sleepwalking? Someone was going to get their butt kicked for this one. "How long have you been here?"

"About an hour, sir."

"And how many people have been posted at my door with these orders in the last five hours?"

"I'm the third. We were pulling two hour shifts and Major Lorne was to take the next shift. He said he doubted you would sleep long enough to need anyone else."

Sheppard rubbed his forehead, the headache that he had thought was banished coming back with a vengeance. This was now officially out of hand.

"Sir, if I may," began Cadman hesitantly. "Major Lorne called the three of us in because he could trust us to be discreet. He emphasized that he had better not hear any gossip or rumors about your . . . problem."

Sheppard winced at the reference. Yeah, it was definitely becoming a problem. "You're dismissed, Lt."

Cadman looked like she wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. "Yes, sir."

Sheppard tapped his radio mike. "Major Lorne, this is Colonel Sheppard. Please respond." Sheppard began walking toward his office, all thoughts of food long forgotten.

"Colonel, this is Lorne."

"Major, I need to see you in my office, immediately."

"Sir? You have an office?"

Sheppard was not in the mood to joke. "Funny, Major. Yes I have an office."

"Uh, sir, where is it?"

Sheppard stopped, standing in the middle of the hall, his mind whirring and his head aching. He was beginning to wish he'd just stayed in bed. "Never mind. Who told you to put a guard on my door? And I feel I should remind you that I am still your commanding officer. I'm guessing it had to have been either Beckett or Weir?"

Lorne hesitated only a moment. "Dr. Weir, sir."

"All right. We'll talk about this later." Sheppard resumed walking down the hall, now headed for Elizabeth's office.

When he arrived, he found Elizabeth standing beside her desk talking to one of the new scientists. He stood with his arms crossed, glaring at her until she finally lifted her head from the data pad and made eye contact with him. Holding his gaze for a moment in a display of firm resolve, she then turned back to the speaking scientist and nodded. The thin, balding man noticed Sheppard waiting outside, looking like he could chew nails and spit fire, and quickly grabbed the data pad and made a hasty exit. He glanced nervously back at Sheppard as he rushed past, accidentally brushing his shoulder, but the colonel's eyes never left Elizabeth.

As John stepped into her office, Elizabeth turned to face him. "What can I do for you, John?"

His jaw tightened and his expression grew hard and cold. "You can tell me why you had a guard posted at my door like I'm some kind of a danger to Atlantis. Is that what you think I am now, a threat?"

Elizabeth sighed and walked the remaining steps separating them to stand directly in front of him. "Of course not. It was for your own protection."

"I don't need you to protect me. Do you know how that makes me look to the people I'm supposed to be commanding? You've just undermined my authority and made me look weak, like I need to be watched. How are they supposed to trust me now?" He suddenly realized he had been gradually raising his voice and was now practically shouting. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Just great, yet another loss of control issue. If he didn't look like an idiot before, he certainly did now.

"John, Major Lorne has the utmost respect for you and this is not going to change that. He told me he would be very careful when he selected his people to stand watch. It will be fine." She tried to make her voice as calm and soothing as possible, hoping to calm John down until he could see the intent of her actions. She really hadn't meant to hurt him.

Sheppard ran his hand through his hair and paced back and forth for a moment. She didn't understand how military minds worked. "It's not that easy. They won't say anything, and they may not even be consciously aware of it, but in their minds I've lost a notch of respect that I may never get back."

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to help you."

"Yeah, well, stop helping me please. I can handle this on my own." His frown deepened as the fallacy of his words echoed in his head. Exactly who was he trying to convince?

Elizabeth's frown stared back at him, her doubt mirroring his own. "No, you can't. I know you want to believe that, but you aren't handling it, you're avoiding it. I want you to talk to Kate and I'm not asking. You are relieved of all duty until she tells me you've been to see her."

Sheppard felt the fury rising within him, increasing the pounding in his head to almost unbearable proportions. The hard look on Elizabeth's face told him this was nonnegotiable and he knew he was too angry to speak without shouting. Part of him knew that she was right, he wasn't handling it. But he also knew that talking to the base psychiatrist was not the answer and he resented being ordered to do just that, not to mention being relieved of duty like some errant newbie in training.

Without uttering a word, John turned and hurriedly left the room, making his way to the nearest transporter. Randomly hitting a location, he emerged from the small compartment a few seconds later and made his way to the edge of the inhabited portion of Atlantis. He began to jog at first, but quickly shifted into the faster pace of running. Steadily moving faster and faster, he was so focused on running that he was oblivious to the pain in his ribs and back until he slowed to a stop almost half an hour later, holding his side against the strain of his heaving chest. Leaning his back against the wall, he sucked in air and wiped the sweat from his brow.

When he had finally caught his breath, he headed back to the main part of the city, but this time at a walk. By the time he made it to Kate Heightmeyer's door, he had almost convinced himself that seeing her might not be a bad idea. Almost. He was equal parts relieved and disappointed when he encountered the sign on her door that indicated she was with a patient.

"Guess I'll come back later," he muttered to himself. A few minutes later, he stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash away the sweat and tension. He stood under the spray until he imagined the water was getting cooler. He had no idea if Atlantis could run out of hot water or not, but he needed to get out anyway.

Twenty minutes later, Sheppard sat in the mess hall, raking his food around on the tray with his fork and wishing he had a better grip on his temper. He had come here with the intention of eating, only to find the knot in his stomach had pretty much done away with his appetite. He was exhausted and yet the thought of sleeping terrified him. Not knowing where you were going to wake up was even more frightening that the nightmares that haunted him many nights. He slowly became aware of someone standing nearby looking at him. Raising his gaze from the tray in front of him, he saw Elizabeth staring down sadly at him. He jumped to his feet.

"Elizabeth, uh, would you like to sit down?"

She looked down at her plate, her voice soft as she responded. "No, I don't want to disturb you, I just wanted to tell you once again that I'm just trying to help."

Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck and struggled for the right words. "Elizabeth, I . . . uh, what I'm trying to say is . . . look, could you sit down for a minute?"

She looked at him for a moment and he tried to read her expression. She finally nodded and set the tray down next to his. They sat in uneasy silence for several seconds after they were seated, until finally John spoke.

"Look, Elizabeth, I . . . owe you an apology. I know you were just doing what you thought was best. I guess I just have to let things sink in slowly sometimes. I'm not saying I necessarily agree with posting a guard outside my door, and I certainly don't like the idea of being forced to talk to Kate, but I do have enough sense to realize that you're just doing what you think you need to in order to watch out for Atlantis. I just don't like people prodding around inside my head and I don't take well to . . . "

" . . . to being ordered to do something you don't agree with," she finished for him. The corners of her mouth turned up in a small smile. "I think we've crossed that bridge before."

Sheppard looked down sheepishly. "Yeah, well, you know my track record with authority figures and their orders."

"First hand," she replied, a bit more sharply than she had intended.

"I, uh, went by Kate's office a while ago, but she was with a patient. I'll check back with her in the morning."

Elizabeth nodded. "That's fine. Look, I know you don't want to do this, but you need some help with this before it gets out of hand and she might be able to provide that. You won't know unless you try."

"Okay, I said I'd go."

"That's all I can ask." She sat silently for several seconds before looking back up at him, noting how tired and worn he looked. "John, I know this started right after the incident with the Tellurians and I know how upset you were. I just want you to know that I'm okay. I'm safe here in Atlantis and you really don't have to worry, although it is kind of comforting to have my own body guard."

Sheppard rubbed his hand across his face and sighed. "Yeah, I know that. I guess I just need to drill it in a little deeper. My subconscious doesn't seem to have picked up on that intel just yet." He dropped his hand back down and absently picked up his fork, dragging it through his already pulverized food.

Elizabeth frowned deeply as she looked at his tray. "What _is_ that?" she asked, nodding towards the maceratedclump in front of him.

"Not sure any more," he said, thinking it reminded him of old road kill more than anything. That was the end of any appetite he may have had upon entering the mess hall. "Think I'm done here. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Pressing his arm against his aching ribs for support, he stood and picked up his tray, wishing more than anything that he'd wake up tomorrow still in his own bed.

oOo

"You can't possibly believe that. What'd you do, fail Physics 101 or something? No one with an advanced degree and _any_ intelligence at could possibly . . . " McKay stopped short as he entered the lab, causing Zelenka to crash into him from behind.

"Rodney, what are you doing? You should have brake lights." Zelenka stepped around the scientist to stand beside him. Following Rodney's gaze, he looked forward to see several crystals pulled out of the Ancient console they had been working on, lying in the floor next to Colonel Sheppard. Colonel Sheppard? The man was curled up in the floor in front of the console, dressed in running pants and a t-shirt.

"Rodney . . . what is Colonel Sheppard doing? Why does he sleep on the floor?"

Rodney's face was flushing, his breathing hitching up a notch in response to the anger welling from within. "The real question here is why did he sabotage our work? Look what he did to the crystals! I'm so going to kill him!" He stormed over to Sheppard and shook the sleeping man's shoulder. "Colonel, wake up! You better have a really good reason for screwing up all our work and, I'm here to tell you, no excuse you come up with will be good enough."

Sheppard sat up groggily, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He knew immediately he had been at it again. The cold, hard floor beneath him along with the angry scientist yelling in his ear clued him in to just how far astray he had wandered. "McKay, get out of my face and stop yelling. You're giving me a headache." In truth, he already had a headache, but Rodney didn't know that.

Rodney straightened up and put his hands on his hips. "I repeat, Colonel, why did you dismantle all the work Radek and I put in on this monster yesterday? Do you know how long it took us to align those crystals? What are you doing here and . . . why are you dressed like that? You don't even have shoes on."

Sheppard leaned his back against the console, his head spinning from McKay's fast-paced tirade. It was beginning to sink in that just what he had done as he looked at the crystals scattered around on the floor. Why would he have done that? How could he have done that in his sleep? This was getting totally out of control.

Radek began collecting the crystals and setting them on top of the console. "Colonel Sheppard, not to be disrespectful, but why did you do this?"

Sheppard sighed and ran his hand through his hair. How was he supposed to answer that?

"Colonel," Rodney said sharply. "We'd both like to know what's going on. Why are you wandering around the halls of Atlantis barefoot and . . . you _were_ barefoot the other night, when you wouldn't answer me." McKay suddenly dropped his mouth open and slapped himself in the forehead. "Oh my god, you were sleepwalking!"

Sheppard frowned and looked at McKay as he stood up. "A little louder, Rodney. I think there might be one or two people on the mainland that didn't hear you."

Zelenka pushed his glasses up. "Colonel, is that true? You really sleepwalk?"

Sheppard hung his head and closed his eyes. "Yes," he whispered softly.

They stood in silence for several seconds, Sheppard embarrassed and the scientists too stunned to know what to say. McKay finally broke the mood. "But why did you pull the crystals out?"

"They aren't the right crystals." It was out of his mouth before he even knew what he was going to say. And he was right. He didn't know how he knew, but he was absolutely certain he was right.

Rodney's mouth moved for a few moments before any sound came out. "What . . . what do you mean they're the wrong crystals? How would you even know? Since when do you have a PhD, Colonel? Oh that's right, you don't. I would suggest you stick to the grunt work and leave the science to those of us that are actually scientists."

Sheppard stood quietly while Rodney chewed him out. When he paused long enough to take a breath, John looked at him and repeated what he'd said earlier. "They aren't the right crystals. I don't know why I know that, but I'm certain I'm right."

Rodney sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't work like that, Colonel. You can't just magically know that the crystals are wrong. You weren't here when we scavenged them up to replace the broken and missing ones, so you can't know how they work. Just because you can give devices your famed genetic touch and turn them on does not make you an expert on how they work. I ask you again, how would you know they are the wrong crystals?"

"Atlantis," said Zelenka. John and Rodney both looked at the short scientist.

"What?" asked Rodney.

Zelenka pushed his glasses up again. "I said Atlantis. You have said sometimes Atlantis talks to you, Colonel, yes?"

Sheppard squinted, confusion showing on his face. "Yeah, but I didn't mean she literally says words to me. It's more of a feeling than anything."

"While you were sleepwalking, perhaps she leads you here to work on console, to show us what we do wrong."

McKay and Sheppard looked at one another for a few seconds. As John was about to argue against the thought, Rodney tilted his head as if thinking.

"I suppose that idea has possibilities." He stared at Sheppard so long it made the colonel uncomfortable. "Are you absolutely dead certain about the crystals?"

Sheppard nodded. "Yes, I'm positive. Those are the wrong crystals."

McKay blew out a puff of air noisily, agitation and disappointment lining his face. "Okay, where do we get the right crystals?"

Sheppard just stared at Rodney as if he had asked for the moon and the sun to be delivered to his room within the hour. "What part of 'I don't know why I know this' don't you understand? I have no idea what crystals are the right ones, much less where you could get them."

McKay sighed loudly. "Then what good are you?"

"Not much, apparently," he whispered.

"Okay, then go away. Radek and I will try to figure this out. We'll call you if we need you."

"Yes," said Sheppard wryly. "You do that." He slipped out and headed for his room as the two men absorbed themselves in the work of fixing the console.

oOo

Sheppard felt marginally better after a shower and a change of clothes. The headache was still there, but he was clean and seemed to have worked the kinks from sleeping on the floor out. Tension had his stomach in a bit of knot, so he decided to settle for coffee before heading to Kate's office. He grabbed a cup from the mess hall and was on his way out when someone called to him. He knew before he turned around who it was.

He made his way around the people and stray chairs to the table where Elizabeth sat waving at him. Beckett was just sitting down next to her.

"Come sit with us a minute, John."

What he really wanted to do was make a break for the door, but that would result in him spilling the much needed coffee in his cup, so he slid into the seat across from them. "You don't have to say it, I was just on my way to see if Kate's in her office yet."

"Oh, that's good," said Elizabeth, "but that's not what we wanted to talk to you about. I spoke to Rodney a few minutes ago."

"Great," Sheppard replied sarcastically. "As long as McKay's on the job, Atlantis doesn't need a newspaper or CNN."

"Now, John, he was just concerned about you . . . and he wanted to make sure you wouldn't be randomly taking apart his projects during your midnight forays."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Yes, because that's such a high priority of mine," he said in a deadpan voice.

Elizabeth grinned. "Well, possible vandalism aside, this has taken on some new possibilities with your ability to analyze and disassemble Ancient devices during these . . . events. Carson has an idea I want you to hear."

Hearing his introduction, Carson hurriedly finished chewing the bite of food he was working on and swallowed. "Colonel, have you ever been to a sleep lab?"

"A what?"

"A sleep lab, or maybe a sleep disorder diagnostic center. A friend of mine used to run one and I observed there on several occasions. They monitor various things while you sleep to try and solve sleep problems."

Sheppard looked skeptical. "And you want to do that to me?"

"Yes, we could monitor things like heart action, brain waves, blood pressure, and see how they change while you sleep, and hopefully, when you start sleepwalking." Beckett's voice began to increase in speed and volume as he became excited, obviously relishing the opportunity to conduct the study.

Sheppard was a bit more reluctant, however. "Uh, Doc, I don't really want a bunch of people watching me sleep. That's just creepy."

Beckett shook his head. 'No, no, there would only be one or two of us monitoring you and we would be watching the monitor screens more than you. Colonel, if we understand your physiological response to what is happening, maybe we can come closer to helping you manage it. You can't be happy about having no control over your actions when you're sleeping."

Sheppard's head snapped up and a look of anguish flashed briefly across his face before retreating carefully back behind his usual neutral expression. He sat silently for several seconds, until Carson and Elizabeth began to wonder if he intended on responding.

"I don't want to be in the main part of the infirmary. I'm sure Rodney has enlightened most of Atlantis by now, but I don't want people staring at me like I'm a freak show or something. I get enough of that as it is."

Carson's expression lightened and he smiled, surprised at the pilot's willingness to cooperate. "Of course, Colonel. I can set you up in the isolation ward in the back and no one will be the wiser."

"When?" asked Sheppard, sounding more like he was making an appointment for a torture session than sleep monitoring.

"I can get it set up today and you can come down tonight, say about ten, uh, 2200 hours?"

"I'll be there," he said quietly as he stared at the table.

"How are the ribs?" asked Carson, watching Sheppard as he carefully stood up.

"Still a little sore, but getting better. Guess I'm off to see Kate so she can try to figure out why I'm apparently unfit for duty and losing my mind." He grabbed his coffee cup and headed out the door, not waiting on a response from the pair still sitting at the table. He just wanted to get today over with.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Note:** Thanks again for the awesome reviews. Read carefully – this is not shippy, but you have to pay attention or you might think it is.

Nightwalker – Chapter 6

"Have a seat, Colonel." Kate Heightmeyer waved Sheppard to a chair across from her desk. "Elizabeth told me a little about what's been happening."

"I thought we decided to go with Kate and John after our marathon retrovirus sessions," said Sheppard as he took a seat. He grimaced as he remembered Kate, Elizabeth, and Carson ganging up on him and deciding anyone coming that close to being a bug had to have major psychological issues to deal with. He did, of course, but he would have preferred to have handled them himself.

Kate smiled and nodded, seemingly pleased. "Yes, you're right of course, we did." She had in fact remembered, but wasn't sure if the Colonel still wanted to keep the informal level they had settled into during his required sessions as he recovered from the retrovirus infection.

"So, where do we start this time?" he asked, wanting to get the session over with as quickly as possible. Kate looked down at her desk and he realized she had already started making notes. This was so not going to be fun.

Kate brought her gaze up to meet Sheppard's, smiling reassuringly. "Elizabeth told me you mentioned something about sleepwalking when you were a child. How old were you and how long did that last?"

Sheppard's expression immediately dropped, sadness flittering across his face. "That was a long time ago. I was twelve. What does that have to do with now?"

Kate shrugged. "Maybe nothing. I need to know more about it before deciding if it has anything to do with what's going on now. You said you were twelve. Did it happen a lot or just once or twice? What kind of a time frame are we talking about here?"

Sheppard looked down at the floor, obviously struggling with the memory. Kate sat up a little straighter in her chair, feeling like she was on to something already. Anything that had him this shaken this quickly had to be important. "John?" she prodded.

Sheppard let out a long slow breath, as if gathering his courage. "Probably three to five times a week for about . . . five, maybe six weeks."

Wow, that was a lot. "Was something going on during that time, something that had you upset or worried?"

Sheppard played with the hem of his shirt for several seconds, making Kate wonder if he had even heard her. She was about to repeat the question when he answered so quietly that she barely heard him.

"My mother was dying of leukemia."

She couldn't help it. Her jaw dropped open a bit and she felt her heart plummet to her stomach. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but that wasn't it. She was already seeing a possible connection, since him thinking Elizabeth had been killed was probably the lead off event for this second round of sleepwalking.

"Okay," she said calmly, watching him carefully as he avoided her eyes. "I want you to think about what was going on with your mom during this time. What was happening when you started sleepwalking and then what was going on when you stopped?"

Anger flashed in Sheppard's eyes and his jaw line tightened. "I've done this already."

Kate raised her eyebrows and frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

Sheppard stood and began to pace around the room, putting his hands in his pockets and then pulling them back out again. "I mean I've done the whole psychobabble thing already. My dad was . . . a little concerned that I wasn't handling my mother's illness, so he enlisted the aid of the school counselor, who promptly brought in the district psychiatrist. I've had people probing around in my head since I was twelve and it's a pointless waste of time. It didn't help me then and it's not going to now." Sheppard paused by the window, looking out at the ocean waves crashing below and trying to stop his hands from shaking. He shoved them back in his pockets.

"I'm sorry, John. I didn't know." She got up and walked over to stand beside him, sharing his view of the ocean. "I don't know what happened when you were twelve. I don't know what they said or how they approached you, and I don't know if they did more harm than good, but I do know that things have changed since then. Talk to me."

Sheppard stood looking out the window for a moment before walking back over to his chair. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and sat down. "The first time was the day that my mom went back to the hospital for the last time. I knew she wasn't coming home. My dad kept telling me that everything would be okay . . . and I believed him for a while. It was just easier. But then I started actually listening to what the doctors were saying and I noticed that my mom was starting to get worse. The treatment quit working and they finally admitted there wasn't much more they could do."

"Were you and your mom close?"

"Yeah. Dad was gone a lot, stationed overseas for months sometimes. Mom was . . . Mom." Sheppard smiled, but swiped a hand hurriedly across his moist eyes. "She was always supportive in everything I did. She was funny, smart, . . . " He trailed off as he bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't thought about her in more years than he could remember. He had shoved her into the back recesses the day of her funeral and tried his best not think of her since. It was easier that way, less painful. Now that he'd brought her back out, the pain was flaring again, hot and intense as it twisted through him.

"John, it's okay to remember her, to miss her."

He got up and went quickly back to the window. Wiping his eyes with the heel of his hands, he took a deep breath. "I just hadn't thought about her in a long time. It kind of caught me off guard." He felt like a kid again, a kid who had just lost his mom.

"How did you feel about your mom going back to the hospital?"

Sheppard sighed, his mind going back to the ride to the hospital and the knowledge that he was going to lose her. "I was frustrated. I wanted to help her, to make her better, and there was nothing I could do. She was always there for me, helping me get through things and there wasn't a single thing I could do to protect her. My dad spent all his time away, protecting our nation . . . but he couldn't protect her either. I just felt one of us should be able to do something, but we were . . . helpless." Sheppard paced restlessly, still carefully avoiding eye contact.

"Tell me about that first incident of sleepwalking."

Sheppard shrugged and collapsed back into the chair. "I don't really remember much. I went to bed and I . . . cried that night for the first time since she got sick. That was the day I let myself believe that she wasn't going to get better. I woke up the next morning on the floor beside my parent's bed."

"And you continued to sleepwalk several times a week?"

"Yeah. I ended up different places. Sometimes their bedroom, sometimes the living room or kitchen, once in a closet."

"Do you think you were searching for your mom, to protect her?"

Sheppard shrugged his shoulders again. "That's what the school psychiatrist said."

"What do _you_ think?"

"I don't know, does it matter?" He wanted to be anywhere else but here, reliving his mother's last days on earth. He'd managed to keep the pain buried for so long, and now, here it was again, punching him in the gut.

Kate held her hands out, palms up. "I don't know, it might. When did you stop?"

Sheppard blew out another deep breath. "A week after her funeral. My dad woke up and couldn't find me, but the front door was open. He called a neighbor to help him and they finally found me several blocks away, walking down the middle of the street in my pajamas. My dad freaked out and started yelling about how I could have gotten killed and that I was going to have to accept that Mom was dead and move on. I wasn't sure what had happened or where we were and it scared me, so I started crying and telling him I was sorry. Then he started crying and hugging me." Sheppard shivered, pulling his arms around him as if he were cold. "That was the last time."

Kate nodded and jotted down some notes, which Sheppard barely noticed. "Is that when you accepted that your mother was really gone?"

Sheppard just stared at the floor, his shoulders sagging and his expression haunted. "I guess. That's what the school shrink thought."

After watching him for a few seconds, Kate decided he'd probably had enough. She knew mental and physical exhaustion when she saw it and it was sitting right there in front of her. "You did very well, John. I think we've made a promising start, but I think that's enough for today. I'd like to see you again tomorrow."

Sheppard sighed and rubbed his aching head. "So how many of these fun little trips down tragedy lane am I in for before I can go back to my life?"

Kate ignored the sarcasm and smiled at the scowling colonel. "Now, you know there is no magic number on this. Let's just take it a day at a time and we'll see how things go."

_Great, now that she's got me sucked in, I'll be here forever, _he thought.

"John, I do have one more question," Kate said as he headed for the door.

"What?"

"Well," she started, looking a bit uneasy. "How do you feel about Elizabeth?"

Sheppard frowned and tilted his head just a bit to one side. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, I was thinking about how all this started after the incident with the Tellurians where you thought Elizabeth had been killed. I just wondered what kind of relationship you two have."

Sheppard looked as if he were thinking for a few moments. "Well, she's compassionate, fair, very strong. She's a good leader and I have the utmost respect for her. They couldn't have picked a better expedition leader."

"Okay, what about personally?"

Sheppard bobbed his head to one side and then straightened it again. "We usually get along well. We've been through a lot together and we're good friends. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'd want to be here without her . . . I guess I've come to depend on her in a lot of ways."

"Would you like your relationship to move on to something more than friends?"

Sheppard frowned deeply and glared at the doctor. "Look, I'm not sure that's any of your business. But just to stop the rumor mill from grinding away any further, I don't usually spend a lot of time thinking about things that can't happen. We work together to run Atlantis, and being a realist, I know the two of us being in a relationship would never work."

Kate took a deep breath and pressed a little further. "I didn't ask you that, John. I asked you what you wanted to happen."

"We're done here," he answered curtly as he walked out.

oOo

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth looked up from her computer to see Kate standing in the doorway. "Kate, come in."

"Do you have a minute?" Kate asked as she stepped inside the office.

Elizabeth leaned back in her chair. "Yes, of course. I'm about ready for a break anyway. My eyes are starting to cross."

Kate came fully into the office and closed the door behind her before taking a seat across from Elizabeth. "I wanted to talk to you about Colonel Sheppard."

Elizabeth nodded. "I thought as much. So, you've had a chance to talk to him?"

"Yes, I have. I think I may understand the need to protect and the control issues just a little better. You mentioned that he said he did some sleepwalking as a child. The incident occurred as his mother was dying of leukemia. Without going into a lot of detail about it, I think he felt the loss of control over the problem and the lack of his ability to protect his mother from the disease very profoundly. Subconsciously, he probably decided to make sure he protected those around him from that time forward, and to do that, he needs to maintain control over himself and his surroundings."

"Something that is not always possible, especially in the Pegasus Galaxy," observed Elizabeth.

"Exactly. I think this explains his willingness to disobey direct orders in order to protect those around him. He's driven to try and save everyone, no matter what the cost. I think the last two years have probably been more of a strain on him than any of us imagined. The incident with the Tellurians may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I know you two have become very close since coming to Atlantis."

Elizabeth flushed slightly, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation seemed to be heading. "Yes, we've been through a lot together."

"That's exactly what he said."

"Well, it's true," she said defensively. "He's saved my life on several occasions, and we've had to work together to solve a lot of problems. We've faced what looked like our death together and then we've both had times when we thought the other was dead. That tends to bring you pretty close to someone. He may just be the best friend I've ever had."

"Elizabeth, he cares for you very deeply."

"I care for him too." Elizabeth looked down at her desk. She hadn't consciously thought about it before, but she did care for John. She thought she'd be lost without their conversations on the balcony or his counsel during a crisis. She realized she had come to depend on him a lot more than she usually allowed herself to depend on anyone.

Kate watched her for a moment, observing her reaction. "Do you think you're too close?"

Elizabeth looked at her sharply. "No, I don't. Look, we aren't dating or sleeping together, if that's what you're asking. We have been drawn closer through our experiences, but it's not a romantic relationship. I don't know of any incidence where either of us has made a bad decision because of our friendship. Isolated as we are, I think this city would be hard to run with someone who wasn't your friend."

Kate smiled and held her hand up defensively. "Whoa, girl, I'm not making accusations or innuendos or anything like that. I'm just trying to establish the relationship between you two in order to help me figure out why he's trying so hard to protect you."

Elizabeth frowned and leaned back in her chair. "I think there's more to it than that. He had another incident last night in which he went to the lab where he's been trying to help Rodney activate some type of Ancient scanner. When Rodney and Radek found him there this morning, he had pulled a bunch of the crystals out and told them they were the wrong ones. He doesn't know why or how he knows that, but he's certain they are the wrong ones. Radek thinks maybe Atlantis guided him."

Kate tapped her index finger against her lips several times, lost in thought. Dropping her hand, she looked back at Elizabeth. "You know, even as I was trying to rationalize this and make it make sense, I thought it seemed weird that someone like the Colonel would hold it together this long, only to come unglued at such a simple incident. I know that trivializes what you went through, but when I think of some of the horrendous things Colonel Sheppard has experienced and managed to handle, this just seems to pale in comparison. What if this is caused by emotional issues being combined with the connection to Atlantis, and maybe even the Ancient device itself?"

Elizabeth nodded. "That would make a lot more sense. In that case, I'm glad Carson is going to monitor him tonight. Maybe he'll turn up something physical that is partially responsible for John's night time events."

"If there is a physical component, it might make this problem easier to control. Let me know what you find out. I would still like to continue sessions with him for a while, if possible. He's never completed the grieving process over his mother and I'm afraid if that's not causing serious issues now, it could later."

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth frowned as she straightened and leaned forward, her arms resting on the top of her desk.

"Think about someone you loved very much and lost. Tell me how you felt when you thought of them for, say the first year or so after their death?"

Elizabeth considered it for a few moments. "Well, when my own mother died, I felt like a part of me died with her at first. For weeks, I cried every day, sometimes more than once a day. It hurt to think of her because I missed her so much. Then, gradually, I cried less and less and eventually got to where I can remember her in a happy way. I still miss her, but I don't usually cry any more and it doesn't hurt quite so much."

Kate nodded, smiling with satisfaction. "That's the way the grieving process is supposed to work. He hasn't done that. I think he stopped it after about a week and shoved his mom into one of the little boxes in his mind and ignored her. If he didn't think about her, he didn't hurt. You'd be surprised how many people handle grief that way and it's not especially healthy, long term. When we talked about his mother's death, it was as if it happened last week, not over 20 years ago. I think Colonel Sheppard has a lot of little boxes in his closet and that may be one of the factors feeding into the sleepwalking."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll encourage him to continue with the sessions for a while. Do you know where he went after your session? I haven't seen him all morning."

"No, but I imagine he needed some time to himself. I wouldn't be too worried."

Elizabeth sighed. That was a lot easier said than done.

oOo

John sat with his legs stretched out in front of him and back leaned against the wall, watching the sun set over the ocean. He was on the far side of Atlantis and had been most of the day. He hadn't felt like seeing or talking to anyone after the session with Kate, and he knew this was the safest way to avoid unwanted encounters. He shifted positions to try and relieve the stiffness and soreness creeping into his back.

He had walked for a long time before he got the overwhelming grief back under control. He hadn't lied when he said he hadn't thought about his mother in a long time and that the sadness had caught him off-guard. But it was safely pushed down now, replaced with a numbness that seemed to penetrate to the bone. He could live with numbness, he had for years.

He startled as his radio came to life. He'd been surprised when no one called or showed up to haul him back. He'd been surprised and grateful. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Dr. Beckett."

Sheppard tapped his radio. "This is Sheppard. What can I do for you, Doc?"

The Scottish brogue sliced through to his ears. "Just checking to make sure that we're still on for 2200 and that you're okay."

"I'm fine Doc, and yes we're still on. You don't have to check up on me, I'm a big boy."

"I know that, lad, but no one's seen you in a while and you have a penchant for getting into trouble. I just thought I'd feel better if I knew you were all right."

Sheppard leaned his head back against the wall and drew his knees up to his chest. The air was beginning to chill as the light faded and he shivered just a little as he smiled. "I appreciate that, but I'm fine. You can thank Elizabeth and Kate for their concern as well."

The ensuing silence produced a nice mental image of Carson turning to the two women as they all looked panicked, trying to decide whether to admit their conference or not. Sheppard smiled at the discomfort he knew he had caused.

"Uh, Colonel? Kate and Elizabeth said to tell you they are glad you are okay as well. I'll see you at 2200. Be sure you come back early enough to get yourself something to eat before you come down. I happen to know there are no cafés or mess halls on the far side of the city."

He chuckled, rubbing the side of his head against the slight headache that still remained. "Touché, Doc. Hey, can I wear my own stuff to this party or do I have to wear scrubs?"

"Just dress in something comfortable enough to sleep in and we can skip the scrubs."

"That's what I wanted to hear. I'll see you later. Sheppard out."

Sheppard continued to sit there until the sun dipped completely behind the horizon and the stars had begun to spread out against the night sky. It wasn't that he didn't want to return to the inhabited portion of the city, just that he didn't care enough to expend the effort it took until the darkness had settled in and the cool air stirred up goose bumps on his exposed arms. Then numbness apparently didn't extend to temperature control. He forced himself to climb to his feet, moaning as his sore back and ribs protested and his skinned hands and knees burned from the increase in activity. The first few steps were hobbling ones and he was thankful no one was there to see, especially Beckett. He'd have him slapped in scrubs so fast it would make his head spin. But after a few minutes, the movement got easier and by the time he made it to the mess hall, he was feeling better and quite hungry. The rumbling in his stomach reminded him how little he had eaten and actually kept down the last few days.

The mess hall staff piled the food on his tray like he was a starving man and kept grinning at him as they tried to bring him more. He had arrived at the very end of the serving period, just before they began cleaning up, so he wasn't sure if they were trying to unload all the left over food or if Beckett had been coaching them. He ate until he thought his eyeballs would pop out of his head, and they still continued to come out and ask if he wanted seconds.

He felt like he waddled back to his quarters, but he didn't worry about the calories because he knew he still had some making up to do. If he started to lose weight, Beckett would be on his case. The good doc worried about just about everything. He showered and changed into some light training pants and a t-shirt, trying to move around enough to work the kinks out before he got into Beckett's eyesight. He then headed for the infirmary, knowing that even though he was tired, he was too wound up to sleep any time soon. This promised to be a long night.

TBC

**Note:** I'm afraid the last few days have been very hectic and tomorrow promises to be as bad. I will try to get chapter 7 out tomorrow night, but since I haven't even started it yet, that may not be possible. So I'll apologize ahead of time if there is a bit of a delay and promise that I will get it posted as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience! You guys are the best (yes, I'm kissing up big time).


	7. Chapter 7

Nightwalker – Chapter 7

Beckett walked into the isolation room just as Kelly, one of the nurses, finished attaching the EEG electrodes to Sheppard's head. The Colonel sat on the bed with an expression Beckett could only describe as pathetic. Extremely pathetic. "Colonel, I see Kelly almost has you hooked up and ready to go."

"Doc, I'm pretty sure I remember waking up from comas with less monitors attached to me than this."

Beckett chuckled as he nodded to Kelly on her way out the door. She smiled and winked at him as she passed, leaving him with a very unhappy subject.

"Aye, you're probably right. I'm going to be watching just about everything, especially since there may be some connection to Atlantis affecting you. This is a little more involved than your standard sleep center monitoring. Now, is there anything else going on that I should know about before we start this?"

Sheppard licked his lips as he looked into Beckett's stern expression. "You've been talking to Rodney, haven't you?"

Beckett sighed. "He was concerned about the way you zoned out, as he put it, after trying to activate that Ancient device. He also said you looked a bit shaky afterwards and didn't seem yourself. I shouldn't have to hear this from Rodney, I should have heard it from you immediately after it happened."

Sheppard shrugged. "It didn't seem like a big deal. It gave me a headache for a while, but I slept most of it off."

"And how long have you been having headaches?"

"Only a few days, since . . . hey, I never said I was having headaches."

Beckett smiled smugly and crossed his arms. "I believe you just did."

Sheppard shook his head in disbelief and looked down at the bed he was sitting on. "Not fair, Doc."

"Maybe not, but it seems to be the only way I can get reliable information. What else is going on besides the headaches?"

Sheppard let his shoulders sag, aware that Beckett apparently had spies everywhere and wasn't afraid to use them. He might as well tell the truth and maybe he could still avoid Beckett's large pointy needle supply. "My appetite's been a little off lately, just not hungry most of the time. Well, at least until last night, when I believe I ate enough for three people. I guess I was catching up." Sheppard grinned as he proudly made the last two statements.

"Any nausea or vomiting?"

"Just once, right after I zoned out on Rodney. That's all Doc, I promise."

Beckett scratched his head and studied Sheppard, trying to ascertain if the man was telling the truth. He finally decided that he might have actually gotten the full story this time. "What about now? Headache?"

"Yeah, just a little one. I think it's mostly just stress over this sleepwalking stuff and the lack of any real sleep the past few days."

Beckett nodded and seemed satisfied. "All right, Colonel. I'd rather not give you anything since we'll be monitoring you, but let me know if you feel you need something. No use in suffering, although sometimes I think you must thrive on it." Beckett checked the various monitors.

Sheppard sat obediently, electrodes attached to his chest and head and a blood pressure cuff on his arm. "Honestly, Doc, how am I supposed to sleep like this?"

Beckett grinned as he helped Sheppard lay back in the bed without getting tangled up. "You'll get used to it in a few minutes and forget it's here."

"Doubt that," Sheppard muttered.

"That's an interesting look." Both men looked up to see Elizabeth standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, well it feels about as odd as it looks," replied Sheppard.

Elizabeth grinned. "Can I talk to him a minute before he goes nighty night?"

Sheppard rolled his eyes and Beckett answered. "Sure, lass. It will take us a minute to get all the monitors set and going properly. Just tuck him in and turn out the light when you leave." He turned back to Sheppard "Colonel, we'll be behind there if you need us." Beckett indicated an observation window on one side of the room.

"Okay, Doc, I'll be fine."

Beckett nodded and went through the door beside the window he had just indicated. Elizabeth walked over to stand beside the bed. "How are you doing?"

Sheppard grimaced. "Carson has me hooked up to every monitor in Atlantis. I'm not sure how he expects me to sleep in this mess."

Elizabeth smiled and patted his arm. "Just try to relax and think of something pleasant."

Sheppard blew out a puff of air. "Yeah, like all of this being over."

"John, I talked to Kate earlier today. She said you had a good session, that you were unusually cooperative. I think you surprised her."

Sheppard tilted his head a bit to one side and the corner of one side of his mouth turned up just a little, as if he was about to smile. "So, do I get brownie points for that?"

Elizabeth crossed her arms as she smiled down at him. "Yes, I suppose you do. We talked about it and decided you can return to limited duty, the limit being no gate travel for now."

"That's okay, Beckett hasn't fully released me yet anyway. He says my ribs still need some time to heal. At least I can do some things around here."

"Good. You can start tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Elizabeth. I hate sitting around doing nothing."

Elizabeth sighed and took a deep breath. "Don't get too excited yet. Kate wants you to continue to have sessions with her for a while, at least until all of this is resolved."

"I know, I expected that. I don't like it, but I guess I'll do it."

A knock from the other side of the window let them know that Beckett was ready to start. "I'd better go," said Elizabeth. "Get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning, when I don't look quite so much like Electric Man." Sheppard grimaced as he looked down at all the wires connected to him and thought about how much fun it was going to be removing them.

oOo

Kelly almost held her breath, her eyes darting back and forth between Sheppard and the monitors. She turned toward Beckett, sitting in the chair beside her, but stopped before speaking to him. She almost laughed as she watched him, his chin almost resting on his chest as he snored softly. She gently shook his arm.

"Dr. Beckett," she whispered.

Beckett's head came up quickly and he yawned as he reached up to rub his face. "What? What's going on?" he asked groggily.

Kelly grinned. "I was going to tell you that I think Colonel Sheppard's finally dozed off, but I see he's not the only one," she said softly.

Beckett grunted. "It was a long day. So, he's finally asleep you think?"

"Yes, Doctor, I think he is." They both looked at the monitors hopefully before shifting their gaze to Sheppard. He was still for the first time since they had started many hours ago. They had watched him stir restlessly all during the night, apparently unable to relax enough to actually fall asleep. Twice he had pulled leads loose as he tossed around in the bed, forcing Beckett to hook him back up. As the time had crept ever closer to morning, they had just about given up.

"How long do you think he's been asleep?" asked Beckett, mimicking her low volume.

"Maybe fifteen minutes."

"Good." They sat quietly for a moment before leaned over closer to Kelly. "Why are we whispering?"

Kelly giggled and slapped her hand over her mouth. "I have no idea. It just seemed like we should be quiet. I guess I was terrified I'd wake him up."

"I doubt even Colonel Sheppard can hear that well," Beckett replied, still keeping his voice quiet.

Thirty minutes later, Sheppard sat straight up in the bed with such force that he pulled several of the electrodes off. He sat there breathing hard and looking startled as Beckett shook his head, stood, and stretched. "Turn everything off. We might as well give up for now." Kelly began flipping switches as Beckett walked out of the room.

"Doc?" said Sheppard as Beckett approached the bed.

"It's okay, Colonel, just sit still and I'll get those things off you." Beckett began removing EEG leads from Sheppard's scalp.

Sheppard rubbed his eyes while trying not to move his head. "What time is it?"

Beckett sighed. "It's almost five a.m. I'm afraid you only slept an hour, or maybe even less."

"So this was a monumental waste of time," Sheppard said glumly.

"Not entirely," replied Beckett. "Hopefully you'll be more acclimated to the equipment next time and be able to relax and fall asleep. I'd like to try again tonight."

Sheppard flinched and moved away from Beckett as the doctor pulled his hair in an attempt to dislodge one of the electrodes. "Watch the hair, Doc, I'd like to keep some of it."

"Sorry," said Beckett sheepishly.

Sheppard sat silently as the doctor finished removing the monitoring equipment. He was so tired that it felt like each limb weighed a ton. The headache that had been mild when he came in was now pounding away with fury.

"I'm guessing the headache is worse," said Beckett, seeming to read Sheppard's mind.

Sheppard made no attempt to deny or hide it. He simply felt too bad. "Yeah, that's an understatement."

Beckett nodded. "I figured as much. I'll get you some pain reliever and then I want you to go back to your quarters and try to get some sleep. I'll see you back here at ten tonight."

Sheppard smiled at Beckett. "And when are you going to sleep?"

Beckett shook his finger at Sheppard as he returned the smile. "You don't need to worry about me, but since you asked, I'm about to go take a nap myself. And I may let Nick keep an eye on you part of the time tonight."

Sheppard stood up and followed Beckett into the main part of the infirmary, where the doctor gave him a small bottle of Tylenol. "Let me know if the headache gets worse."

Sheppard nodded and headed for his quarters. Half an hour later, he had showered and was standing in his room, trying to make a decision. Part of him really wanted to put on sweats and crawl into bed. He was exhausted and the headache only seemed to be getting worse. Another part of him kept remembering that he was back on active duty as of this morning, well, limited active duty. That made him feel like he should put on his uniform and do something more constructive than take a nap. He finally grabbed his uniform and began pulling it on. Maybe there would be time for a nap later.

His stomach grumbled loudly as he walked through the door of his quarters. Maybe breakfast was in order before he began checking on his men. He was halfway to the mess hall when his radio crackled to life.

"John? I need you in the conference room."

Sheppard slowed his pace as he answered the radio call. "Elizabeth, what's going on?"

"Just get here quickly and I'll explain."

"On my way." Sheppard picked up the pace as he hurried down the hall, now heading for the conference room near Elizabeth's office. He arrived about the same time as Teyla and Ronon and discovered Major Lorne and Elizabeth already in the room and waiting.

"What's going on," Sheppard asked as they grabbed a seat around the table.

Elizabeth crossed her arms and rested them on the table. "We received a radio transmission from Miran on R3T-667. The Wraith attacked them last night. Most of the people made it to the deep cave systems, but they know of four dead and six missing right now. Many of their homes were destroyed, as was most of their ready, available food supply. They also have several wounded. They want our help."

The people of R3T-667 were strong allies of Atlantis. The people reminded Sheppard of the Athosians. They were strong and proud and a very honest, trustworthy people. They had begun trading with them several months ago, medical supplies and farming implements for part of their crops and some hunted meat. The people also provided them occasional information gained from other trading partners, particularly keeping Atlantis apprised of what the Genii were up to. The relationship was a valuable and honored one that everyone wanted to protect.

"We could help them clean up, provide medical treatment for the wounded, and give them some of the temporary housing to use until they can rebuild," suggested Sheppard.

Elizabeth nodded. "I've already contacted Carson. Dr. Strauhan is putting together a medical team to take to the planet."

"Good," said Sheppard. "We can join with Lorne's team and maybe a few extra marines to take in supplies and help them as much as possible. We can also help watch in case the Wraith come back."

"That's what I was thinking, except it will just be Teyla and Ronon from your team. Rodney's busy in the lab and I somehow doubt he'd be much help anyway. Major Lorne can pick up some extra people from the pool to go along and help. Major Lorne, you'll be in charge."

"Hold it," said Sheppard, his jaw tightening as he realized Elizabeth meant for him to stay in Atlantis. "I'm going along."

"No, John, you're not. You haven't been cleared for gate travel yet."

Sheppard's face began to redden as the anger began to rise. "Then I'll get clearance. My ribs are almost healed. There's no reason why I can't do this. They need our help."

"They'll get our help, just not directly from you. I've already spoken to Carson and he said no."

"But why? I'm fine." In the back of his mind, he realized he was starting to whine, but he couldn't stop himself. This was important and he needed to be there to help protect their friends and allies.

Elizabeth looked at him sternly, her gaze not wavering. "Carson said your ribs are still pretty sore. Add to that the fact that we haven't solved your sleepwalking problem yet. He also said you got no sleep last night and you've been having headaches, which he has yet to diagnose. The answer is no."

Sheppard just shook his head and rested his face in his hands a second. "The ribs are fine, I've gone without sleep before and done my job, the headaches are caused by stress, like from being held hostage and not allowed to do my job. As for the sleepwalking, I can come back to Atlantis at night if it will make everyone feel better. I should be helping with this."

"I'm sorry, but the answer is still no. Major Lorne can handle it, especially with Teyla and Ronon there to help him." Elizabeth turned to Lorne. "Take as many people as you need. I've already arranged for the supplies to be taken to the puddle jumpers for loading. You should be leaving in thirty minutes. I'd plan on staying a few days, unless you need to make some return trips for extra supplies."

Lorne nodded and quickly left to begin rounding up his team and the extra men. Teyla walked by Sheppard on her way out the door and paused to put her hand reassuringly on his shoulder. He nodded and gave his best fake smile, but she saw through it as always. Still, she continued out the door with Ronon, knowing there was nothing she could do or say to change the situation.

Elizabeth looked across the table at Sheppard, staring sadly at his hands folded on the table. "I know you wanted to go, but we didn't feel that was wise at the moment. I'm sorry, John, I really am."

"So am I," he said quietly. "Why did you even call me down here?"

"I just thought you should know what was going on. I wanted to keep you in the loop."

"Next time you can just let me know what you did by radio after the fact. There doesn't seem to be much difference, except this way I didn't get breakfast." He stood and walked out the door, no longer even wanting the breakfast he'd missed.

oOo

McKay pulled back out of the front of the console and turned to Radek. "It fits, so it's bound to be the correct crystal, right?"

Radek shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, Rodney, other crystal fit too and Colonel Sheppard said it was wrong one."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's see if we can pick anything up?" McKay tapped some keys on the laptop and watched for a few seconds. "Well, we're getting something, even though Sheppard hasn't activated it yet. Maybe that's a good sign. I'll get him down here."

oOo

Sheppard arrived back at his quarters, moving immediately to the bed. He'd been so angry at being left behind in Atlantis like an invalid that he'd returned to his room on autopilot. He barely remembered navigating the corridors as his heart raced and his head throbbed. The headache had flared up to new proportions and he just wanted to lie down for a while. The whole thought about needing to do something constructive now seemed like a moot point.

He had just dozed off when his radio came on, jerking him back to wakefulness. He sat up groggily, fumbling the headset as he struggled to get it on his head properly. "Sheppard here."

"Well, it's about time. What are doing, avoiding me? Never mind, don't answer that. We need you in the lab right now. Radek and I think we have it this time."

Sheppard sighed. His luck, it had to be McKay. "Look, Rodney, I'm really tired right now and I have this gigantic headache –"

"Yes, yes, we all have our crosses to bear. This console could control something vital to the protection of Atlantis. I promise we will only drag you away from nap time or whatever you're whining about for a few minutes. The sooner you get down here, the sooner we can get started."

Sheppard rubbed his pounding head and wished he could just tell McKay no. But he knew it wasn't that simple. If he refused, McKay would just show up in a few minutes beating on his door. Maybe if he just went down and activated the console, he would be left alone for the rest of the day. The thought was just pleasant enough to get him moving. "I'll be there in a minute."

He arrived ten minutes later, glaring at Rodney as he came through the door. "And this couldn't possibly have waited until later?"

Rodney ignored him and continued to type away on his laptop for a few moments before turning to him. "Okay, Radek and I have scavenged around and replaced the crystals with what we hope are the correct ones. Since you were not very forthcoming about how to know which crystals are the correct ones, we have no way of checking it out except trying to flip the switch, so to speak. And since you are the switch . . . "

"Yeah, I know. Think it on." Sheppard walked up to the console, remembering the headache it had given him earlier. Since his head was already home to quite a wall-banger, he wasn't sure this could hurt any worse.

Sheppard placed his hands on the console and began to think it on. He felt the same hum and tingle of electricity racing through him just before the pain exploded in his head to the flash of various colors of light behind his closing lids.

McKay and Zelenka tried to watch the console, Sheppard, and the computer screen all at once. They saw the lights of the console come on as they heard a humming noise, which then converted to a buzzing sound, like a hundred angry bees. The lights on the console, as well as those in the room, then blinked on and off several times before going off entirely. There was still enough light from the hallway to illuminate Sheppard as he slumped forward against the Ancient device and slid off into a heap on the floor.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

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Nightwalker – Chapter 8

He felt sluggish and achy as he became aware of voices around him. The words seemed garbled and slurred at first, but slowly cleared up until he could understand them and recognize their owners. He struggled to open his eyes.

" . . . almost five hours now and he's still unconscious. I thought you said he was going to be okay. Oh my god, I've killed him, haven't I? You're just not telling me the –"

"Rodney, calm down for pity's sake, he's fine. He's just sleeping it off. His body received quite a shock, from what I can tell and he's had almost no sleep lately. He's bound to be exhausted."

"But he told me he had a headache and I bullied him into coming down anyway."

"Not . . . bully . . . me," slurred Sheppard softly, still trying to open his eyes. He was immediately aware of movement near his bed and began to see shapes as he pried his lids apart.

"That's it, Colonel, get your eyes open for me," said Beckett.

As his vision cleared, two hovering, worried faces came into view. "What happened?"

Rodney looked relieved that Sheppard was talking and making sense. "You tried to activate the console again. I think we came closer this time, but it made some funny noises and then you passed out. How do you feel?"

"Rodney, I'm the doctor here," scolded Beckett. He turned back to Sheppard. "However, that was a valid question. How do you feel, Colonel?"

Rodney let out a "humph", but quickly turned his attention back to the pilot in the bed before him. He wished he'd noticed before how truly exhausted his friend looked. Silently, he berated himself on his total lack of consideration for others when he was on the scent of some big discovery. He just tuned the world around him out and focused on the task at hand. A handy trait in an emergency, but not very conducive to caring for your friends.

"Kind of . . . achy, tired."

"What about the headache?" inquired Beckett, his face lined with concern.

"Still there, but not as bad as this morning." He was finally getting awake enough to think and function better. He began trying to sit up and felt the tug of the heart monitor. Beckett pushed him back down and Rodney raised the head of the bed some.

"What happened? Why am I hooked up to this?"

Beckett sighed. "Your blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof when they brought you in. You had also developed a wee bit of an arrhythmia. I was worried about stroke or possibly heart attack, so I hooked you up to the monitor. The good news is that everything seemed to level back out close to normal within an hour. I'm just keeping an eye on things at the moment."

Rodney nodded his head. "You had . . . Radek pretty worried."

Sheppard smiled. "Radek was worried, huh. But you weren't?"

Rodney shook his head. "Not for a minute."

Beckett snorted before covering his mouth and turning away.

"Well," said Rodney defensively. "I wasn't."

"I'm glad to hear it, Rodney. Doc, since everything is back to normal now, can I go?"

Beckett was shaking his head before Sheppard even finished speaking. "Absolutely not, Colonel. I'm still not sure what that bloody thing did to you. I want to monitor you a while longer and run some tests. I'll keep you til morning since you have an appointment with me tonight anyway. If everything still looks okay then, I'll release you."

Sheppard sighed loudly. "I was afraid of that. Can't blame a guy for trying."

"Oh, and this is for both of you. I don't want anyone trying to activate that technology until we know more about it, and that means you, Colonel. I don't care what the bloody thing is supposed to do, the only thing we know for sure is that it's hurting you each time you try to activate it. And Rodney, there'll be no coercing the Colonel into trying again, do I make myself clear?"

Rodney looked flabbergasted. "I would never intentionally have him do something I know would hurt him. What kind of a monster do you think I am?"

Beckett softened his tone, as well as his expression. "I don't think you're a monster, Rodney, but sometimes you don't look at the big picture. I know you'd never hurt the Colonel on purpose."

"I certainly wouldn't," McKay sputtered. He turned to Sheppard. "You know that, right? You don't think I'd have you do something I thought might be dangerous?"

Sheppard shook his head. "No, Rodney, I trust you. This wasn't your fault. If anything, I'm the one who should have suspected something was going on after the headache it gave me the last time." Sheppard suddenly looked up and raised his index finger. "Hey, somebody better call Kate. I had an appointment with her earlier, which I seem to have missed." Smiling, he snapped his fingers in mock disappointment.

"I'll let her know," said Beckett, rolling his eyes at Sheppard's antics. "Rodney, don't stay too long. He's still tired, even if he won't admit it."

McKay nodded as Beckett turned and headed for his office. "Are you really okay, because . . . okay, you actually did scare me back there."

Sheppard grinned, realizing confessions like this didn't come very often or very easily from Rodney. "I'm good, just a little tired. All I need is a good night's rest, you know, without roaming the city to see what trouble I can get into."

McKay plopped down in the chair, relaxing for the first time since Sheppard had collapsed. It was one thing to have Carson tell you Sheppard would be okay, but it meant a lot more coming from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

"Maybe Carson could put you in restraints."

Sheppard twisted his face into a combination of a smirk and a frown. "Thanks. I'd appreciate it if you didn't put that idea in his head. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't done it already. I really hate those things." He rubbed his wrists instinctively and then noticed, with some delight, that he had escaped the dreaded IV.

"What are you grinning at?"

Sheppard held up the backs of his hands. "No IV."

"I could fix that for you," suggested McKay, a smile creeping across his lips.

"Don't you dare!"

"What shouldn't he dare?" asked Beckett as he walked up to join them.

"Nothing," said Sheppard, giving McKay a warning glare. "McKay was just making absurd suggestions."

"Oh," said Beckett, "So he's behaving normally." Beckett ignored McKay as he silently mimicked what the doctor had just said. "Colonel, I contacted Kate and told her what happened. You'll be happy to know that she has some free time this afternoon and can come visit you here between the tests I'll be running."

"Oh, good," Sheppard said sarcastically as he crossed his arms and hunched down into the bed farther. "An afternoon full of medical tests and psychological analysis. Gee, I can hardly wait. Are you sure I can handle all the excitement?"

Beckett grinned like the Cheshire cat. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Rodney stood up quickly. "You know, I just remembered, I have a lot of stuff to do in the lab and Radek is undoubtedly waiting on me as we speak. I'll see you later Colonel, and good luck with the day's activities."

"Oh, thanks a lot, Rodney. Jump up and abandon ship, why don't you? You could at least stick around and offer moral support."

"Not happening Colonel. He who turns and runs away, lives to fight another day and I'm turning and running while the running is good." McKay turned and walked out of the infirmary, never looking back at the sulking pilot.

"Don't worry, Colonel. You'll have your revenge one day. In the mean time though, you have an appointment with a CAT scan."

Sheppard sighed. "And so, the fun begins."

oOo

"Colonel?"

Sheppard had just begun to doze when the soft voice awakened him. He tilted his head up as he opened his eyes to see Kate Heightmeyer at the foot of his bed. If he'd just realized earlier, he could have kept his eyes closed and feigned sleep. And sleep was what he wanted right now. He rubbed his face as he yawned.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I woke you up, didn't I?" Her apology didn't stop her from taking the seat next to his bed.

"I, uh, was just dozing."

She smiled brightly, only serving to depress Sheppard further. She was much too happy about this. "Well," he said, figuring he might as well get this over with, "What shall we talk about today?"

She looked down at the writing he was just now noticing in the open notebook in her lap. My gosh, she already had notes going for today's session. She must really think he was a nut case.

"I was thinking about what we talked about yesterday. I believe you feel that the events surrounding the death of your mother were out of your control and I think that may be part of your need to be involved, to control the way things are going. I think that may fuel your almost obsessive need to protect people."

"You think I'm obsessive?" Sheppard's jaw had dropped open slightly in shock. He'd never thought about himself as being obsessive and he didn't particularly care for the implication that he was.

"I don't think you are naturally an obsessive person, I just think your desire to protect and save people at all costs is a beyond the norm, and yes, possibly obsessive. But that is a perfectly understandable reaction to what happened to your mother."

Sheppard shook his head. "No, I think you're wrong. Give me one instance when I've gone too far to save people."

Kate's expression quickly became more serious. "You want a list?"

The question caught Sheppard off guard, to the point he almost couldn't speak. "What . . . what do you mean, a list?"

"Well, let's start with you disobeying orders in Afghanistan."

"That wasn't obsessive. They were leaving those men behind to be captured or killed by the enemy. We don't leave people behind. I got them out, didn't I?"

Kate shook her head. "That isn't the point. Your superiors had determined that it was too dangerous, that any rescue attempt was likely to result in more deaths and it wasn't likely to be successful."

Sheppard face was flushed in anger. "You weren't there. I got them out and I didn't get killed."

"You were lucky. There's still the point that you were . . . that you felt strongly enough about rescuing those men that you disobeyed orders and put your life in danger."

"It was my life to put in danger," he muttered.

"Yes, it was. And it was your life you endangered when you took the jumper armed with a bomb to ram into a hive ship. You were willing to fly to your death in order to save Atlantis."

"That's my job. It's kind of why I'm here, to protect Atlantis."

"What about when you almost flew into a sun to destroy that F-302 infected with the Wraith virus? What about going into the pod on Aurora? What about offering to be the one to go through the door to the time dilation field? Taking on a Wraith hive ship from a dart? And then there's disobeying Elizabeth during the nanovirus incident. Do you want me to stop, because there's more? How many times have you come back injured because you threw yourself in front of someone being attacked?"

Sheppard sat staring at his hands in his lap, waiting on her to finish. He finally looked up when she paused. "It's not obsessive to want to protect people, to help save them when you can. And it _is_ part of my job."

Kate leaned forward in the chair. "No, it's not wrong or obsessive to try to help people, but when you take it to the extremes you do, it isn't very healthy. Colonel, it's not just your job, it's who you are. The need to protect is such a driving force, I doubt you could stop any more than an addict could stop taking drugs. That's not necessarily a bad thing if you are aware of it and take the time to consider all rational options. Sometimes I think you recklessly endanger your life when there's not much hope of a favorable outcome."

Sheppard sighed and looked up at Kate. "So what are you telling me to do? Stop protecting people, because that's not going to happen."

"No, don't stop doing your job. Just consider your choices before rushing headlong into blazing guns carrying an armed bomb. I know that sometimes, that is the only choice and someone has to do it. But don't rush to your death when you don't have to. Face your obsession and deal with it."

Sheppard swallowed hard and nodded. He didn't really think he'd had much choice in what he'd done in the past, but she didn't seem to understand. Maybe sometimes he didn't think before he acted, but when he was needed to protect his people or his city, he planned on being there, obsession or not. It was easier just to agree with her.

"I also wanted to talk with you about the connection to Atlantis. Tell me about that."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows. He hadn't been expecting that at all. "Uh, well, it's kind of hard to explain. It's like . . . a low hum, kind of a feeling really. I'm not consciously aware of it most of the time, like you don't really feel your clothes touching your skin. But you know they are there and you can feel them if you think about it. That's how Atlantis is. Sometimes I can feel . . . fluctuations, changes. Like when the power changes, or the city goes into lockdown. It feels different." Sheppard scratched his head in frustration. He couldn't figure out how to describe it where someone else could understand.

"When did you first start to feel this connection?"

"As soon as I came through the gate. I didn't know what it was and I thought everyone could feel it for a while."

"I understand there was an incident while you were sleepwalking the other night?"

"Uh, yeah. I apparently removed the crystals from the Ancient console McKay has been trying to get activated. He had the wrong crystals in it, but I don't know how I knew that and I don't remember pulling them out. We think Atlantis may have communicated with me while I was sleeping and I guess, somehow guided my actions."

Kate seemed to consider this for a moment. "But you don't remember any of it?"

"No, nothing."

"Hmmm. Has this ever happened before?"

Sheppard shook his head. "No, nothing like this has ever happened before. There's never been any direct communication, which this seems to have been."

Kate nodded. "So the question is, did Atlantis make you sleepwalk so she could help you work on the console, or did she just take advantage of the fact that you were sleepwalking and in a suggestive state?"

Sheppard shrugged his shoulders.

"John, there is something we could try to possibly help you remember what happened. Have you ever been hypnotized before?"

Sheppard shook his head so vigorously, that it stirred up his sleeping headache. "No, absolutely not. Not even if hell itself freezes over."

Kate was taken aback at his strong reaction for a second, until she processed exactly what she was asking him to do. She was asking him to completely give up control of himself to someone else. She quickly realized he would never agree. "Okay, no hypnosis then."

oOo

"You actually suggested hypnosis?" asked Elizabeth, her legs curled up underneath her as she sat on the couch in Kate's office. "What did he say to that?" she asked smiling, already having a pretty good idea what his response would have been.

Kate smiled too, not quite believing she had actually suggested it. "I believe he said something like not even when hell freezes over. He shut that idea down pretty quickly."

"Yeah, I bet. Have you got any other suggestions?"

Kate shook her head. "Not really. I told him we still have some issues to discuss with his mother and he wasn't very happy about that. He's supposed to come see me when Carson releases him. Carson is going to monitor his sleep tonight, so I guess we can hope for something showing up there."

"But you think this may not be totally psychological, that Atlantis may be involved somehow?"

"I think that's very possible. And I'll tell you something else. After talking to Rodney and John, Carson and I are starting to wonder about the role of the Ancient device itself. His headaches and the sleepwalking started roughly the same time as Rodney began fiddling with that Ancient console. It may all just be one big coincidence, but then again . . . "

Elizabeth nodded her understanding. "I just hope we figure it out soon, for John's sake. I know this is driving him crazy." She looked over at Kate and smiled. "No pun intended."

oOo

_He still looks pathetic,_ thought Beckett as he smiled at Sheppard. Kelly had just finished hooking him up to all the monitors and Sheppard was staring at him with a _get me out of this mess_ expression. They were back in the isolation ward of the infirmary again, since that's where Beckett had everything arranged.

"Now, Colonel, quit looking at me like that. It's not so bad." Beckett tried unsuccessfully to stifle a chuckle. "You should be exhausted enough tonight to sleep in spite of yourself."

"You'd think," he muttered to himself. Sheppard carefully lay back against the pillows and settled in.

Beckett and Kelly were surprised when Sheppard drifted off to sleep less than thirty minutes later. They watched his EEG cycle through the first wave of NREM and REM sleep cycles. Almost three hours after he had dozed off, Beckett sat up in his chair.

"Look at that." He pointed to the EEG monitor. "That looks like a burst of beta waves, except the amplitude is too high. Those shouldn't be there when he's asleep. I wonder if . . . there it is again."

"Doctor, he's getting up."

The readings on the monitor blinked and jerked as Sheppard began climbing out of bed, pulling several leads loose. "Bloody heck!" Beckett jumped up and hurried through the door. He stood in front of Sheppard as he started trying to walk away from the bed, pulling the machinery along behind him from the leads that were still attached.

"Colonel, wake up!" Beckett shook Sheppard vigorously by the shoulder. "Colonel, I need you to wake up now." Sheppard tried to pull away from Beckett, but the movement was slow and uncoordinated. Beckett pushed him back against the bed and shook him again. "Colonel, you need to wake up."

Sheppard's eyes blinked several times and he stood silently for several seconds, staring at Beckett. As his eyes cleared, he looked around the room and back at Beckett. "Doc, what's going on?"

Beckett looked relieved. "You were sleepwalking, lad."

"Oh," said Sheppard blankly, still not fully awake.

Beckett pushed him gently back on the bed. "Just lie down, Colonel and I'll get that stuff off you so you can get back to sleep. I think we got some good readings from the monitoring system. I'll just need a little time to go over it."

Sheppard fell back against the pillows and dozed back off before Beckett was even finished removing the monitors. Beckett smiled down at the sleeping pilot. "Get some sleep, Colonel. I know you need it. Maybe tomorrow we can figure out what's going on so we can help you." He patted Sheppard's arm before walking out the door, determined to get a little sleep himself.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I should start winding down soon.

Nightwalker – Chapter 9

"Unscheduled gate activation," called the technician on duty. It was nearly 0430, so very few people were in the gate control room. The lieutenant on duty moved quickly to his side.

"IDC yet?"

"Just coming through . . . it's Teyla. Radio transmission coming through now."

"Atlantis, this is Teyla." Her voice sounded tired and strained. "The Wraith have attacked the planet. We were able to hold them off until most of the people were back in the caves. They finally left a short while ago, but we are on our way back with several wounded. Dr. Strauhan has done what he can, but many need more care than what he can give and he is injured himself."

"Come on through, we're lowering the shield. I'll call for a medical team to meet you in the jumper bay." Lt. McDaniel nodded at the gate technician to lower the shield as he called for a medical team and then contacted Dr. Weir.

oOo

"Dr. Beckett?"

Beckett cracked his eyes open, knowing he couldn't have been asleep long. He had been trying to nap in the back room of the infirmary so he'd be close by if needed. "What . . . is it Colonel Sheppard?"

"No, sir," said Kelly frowning. "The team that went to R3T-667 is inbound with wounded. The Wraith made a return visit."

Beckett sat up, instantly awake as the adrenalin began pumping through him. "What about Nick?" he asked, not only concerned for his doctor, but also realizing he would probably need his help.

"Lt. McDaniel said they reported he was injured, but not how badly. They said he was still trying to care for the wounded, so maybe it's not too bad." Beckett didn't miss the hope in her eyes. Nick and Kelly had become quite the item lately.

"I'm sure he's fine, lass. Has a team been dispatched to meet them?"

"Yes, they're on the way to the jumper bay now. Marcy is calling some of the off duty staff to come in early."

"Good job. Let's get ready for the injured then." He led the way back out into the infirmary, proud of his talented and experienced staff.

Fifteen minutes later, the injured began rolling in. Almost everyone on the team was wounded to some degree. Thankfully, most of the injuries were not life threatening, a myriad of cuts and scrapes with a few broken bones scattered amongst them. One of the marines had broken several ribs and needed surgery to stop the internal bleeding. Before whisking him off to surgery, Beckett made his way over to check on Nick, who was busily putting a cast on a broken arm.

"Dr. Strauhan, may I have a moment?"

Nick nodded to Kelly to continue and limped the few steps over to Beckett. Beckett eyed him carefully. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm good for now. I think I sprained my ankle and I have a few cuts, but I'm okay. Kelly can get me fixed up when we get everyone else settled. Do you need help in surgery?"

"No, I can handle it. Just get off your feet as soon as you can."

Nick grinned behind the grime on his face. "You got it." He turned back to his patient and Beckett thought for the second time this morning how lucky he was to have such an excellent staff. Or maybe it was Atlantis that was lucky.

When Beckett emerged from surgery, the main part of the infirmary was much more organized and quiet. Most of the injured had been treated and released with just a couple being held for observation. Several of the medical staff were now on clean up duty, picking up the discarded packages and bloody dressings.

Teyla occupied one of the beds, with Ronon in the chair next to her and Elizabeth standing at the foot. Looking around the room as he made his way over to them, he saw Nick sitting on an exam table while Kelly wrapped his ankle. Nick glanced up and smiled and waved, looking much cleaner that the last time Beckett had seen him.

"Teyla, how are you holding up, lass?" Beckett took her chart from the nurse and began looking it over. "Looks like you have a concussion and some cuts and bruises. I guess we'll be keeping you for observation."

Teyla nodded. "Yes, that is what Dr. Strauhan told me. We were just telling Dr. Weir what happened."

Elizabeth turned to Beckett. "So Carson, how's Martin doing?"

"He'll be fine. The bleeding wasn't too bad and we got it under control fairly quickly. He'll need some time to heal, but he'll recover."

"That's good news. I'm just glad we didn't lose anyone this time. Teyla and Ronon think the people on the planet all made it to the caves in time."

Beckett let out a deep breath. "Well, that is good news for once. I see you even made it back with my second," he said, looking back at Nick. "I thank you for that."

Teyla nodded and smiled. "He was of great help, Dr. Beckett. He gets better with every mission he goes on."

Ronon gave a small nod of agreement. "He's not bad for a doctor."

Beckett and Elizabeth laughed out loud. When they had stopped, she turned back to the physician. "So, how did it go with John last night? Did you learn anything?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. He did begin to sleepwalk and we spotted some odd EEG waves as he started getting up. I haven't had a chance to really go back and look at it yet, but I'm hoping that will help." Beckett looked at his watch to see it was almost eight o'clock. He frowned as he turned back toward Kelly and Nick.

"Kelly, has anyone been to check on Colonel Sheppard this morning?"

Kelly's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "Oh my gosh, no. I'm sorry, Dr. Beckett, we got caught up in taking care of the injured and I forgot about him."

"That's all right, lass. I did as well. I'd better be checking on him though before he stages a mutiny. I'm surprised he hasn't wandered up here to see why he's been abandoned."

"Mind if I join you?" asked Elizabeth.

"No, of course not," he answered, leading the way. "I may need someone to help defend me since I'm sure he was planning on being out of here by now. He's probably not too happy, especially sitting back in isolation by . . . " Carson stopped mid-sentence as he opened the door to the isolation room to find Sheppard's bed empty. The covers were rumpled and hanging half-hazardly off the bed, but the colonel was no where to be seen.

"Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett called. He walked quickly over to the observation room and peeked inside, but it too was empty. Turning back the way he came, he made a hasty exit and returned to the main part of the infirmary, Elizabeth not far behind. Scanning the room and not seeing the missing pilot, he walked over the nurses cleaning up the medical debris from earlier.

"Did any of you see Colonel Sheppard this morning?"

They looked at each other blankly and then back to Beckett, answering with a chorus of nos. Beckett sighed and scratched his head. "Surely he wouldn't have left without saying anything to anyone. He needed clearance to get out of here."

Elizabeth tapped her radio. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Dr. Weir. Please respond."

Beckett looked at Elizabeth expectantly, hoping his MIA patient had just given himself an early release. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Dr. Beckett, what's wrong?"

Kelly and Nick had made their way over to where Beckett and Elizabeth were standing, Nick hobbling on his injured ankle. Ronon was also approaching, having heard the exchange.

"Colonel Sheppard seems to be missing."

"You don't think he's sleepwalking again, do you?" asked Elizabeth.

"I have no idea. He was pretty exhausted and I know he was putting out some bizarre wave patterns on his EEG last night. This could simply be him pulling an escape act, but . . . "

"You don't really think that's it, do you?" asked Ronon.

Beckett ran his hand through his hair and sighed again. He was bone tired himself and finding it hard to concentrate. "No, I don't think that's it. Colonel Sheppard may whine to get out of the infirmary, but he pretty much stays until he's been properly cleared to leave. I think we need to find him."

Elizabeth nodded. "I agree. I'll call Rodney and let's check his quarters. If we still can't find him, I'll start a search."

"I'll check his quarters and radio back," said Ronon.

Beckett looked over to see Teyla climbing out of bed. "No, no, no, young lady. You get right back in bed. You aren't going anywhere."

"I must help search for the Colonel. He could be injured or ill."

Beckett smiled as he pushed her back against the pillows. "That may be, but we have plenty of people to help look for him. You are injured yourself and staying right here. We'll find him, lass."

Elizabeth had moved over the bed as well, and reached out to put her hand on Teyla's arm. "He's right, Teyla, you should stay here. We'll find him."

Teyla didn't look happy, but realized she was outnumbered and had to admit that she got dizzy when she tried to stand up. "Very well, but you will let me know when you find him."

Beckett grimaced. "Oh, you'll know when we find him. I'm sure the whole city will know when I get through with him."

Elizabeth and Teyla looked at one another, their eyebrows raised in amazement as they wondered what would be worse for Sheppard, staying lost or getting found by a very unhappy doctor.

oOo

"Has anyone found him yet?" asked McKay, listening intently to his radio as he walked down the corridor.

"No," responded Elizabeth. "No one's even seen him. It's almost like he dropped off the face of the planet."

McKay sighed and shook his head. "How can he wander around the city barefoot and in hospital scrubs for hours and no one see him? It's not like it's the middle of the night, there are people everywhere."

"Well, he disappeared some time in the night and there are plenty of empty sections in the city where he could be holed up. Maybe he wandered into an empty room and is just sleeping somewhere."

McKay snorted. "I doubt that. That would be far too safe and easy. He's probably . . . Elizabeth . . . I found him."

McKay stood in the doorway of the lab with the Ancient console they had been working on. He had decided to check here on a whim, having looked everywhere else he could think of in the past few hours. Sheppard was stretched out on the floor in front of the console, the upper half of his body inside the open front panel. McKay could hear him clinking around inside the console and a variety of crystals were scattered on the floor around him.

"Colonel, what are you doing? Actually, what are you doing here instead of the infirmary?" McKay moved a few steps closer.

Sheppard pulled out of the panel and sat up, looking at the crystals around him. His face, upper arms, and shoulders were covered in dirt and grime. He picked up one of the crystals and leaned back in the console.

"Colonel Sheppard, can you hear me?" The clinking continued, but Sheppard didn't answer or withdraw. "Okay, this is just creepy."

McKay realized Elizabeth was calling him on the radio. "Rodney, answer me. Did you say you found Colonel Sheppard?"

"Yes, I found Sheppard. He's working on that console we've been trying to activate, messing with the crystals. I don't know where he's been all this time or what he's been doing, but he's filthy. I've seen auto mechanics that look would pristine next to him."

"Did you try to talk to him, ask him where he's been?"

McKay rolled his eyes. "No, I just stood here with my finger in my ear wondering what he was doing. What do you think, Elizabeth? Of course I tried talking to him, but he won't answer. I don't think he knows I'm even in the room. The lights are on, but no one is home at the moment."

"Keep an eye on him and don't let him go anywhere. I'll contact Beckett and we'll be there in a minute."

"We'll be here." McKay bent over and tried to peer into the dark opening to see what Sheppard was actually doing. He could now hear the pilot muttering to himself as he worked. McKay couldn't make out all of it, but the scattered words he heard sounded like he was quoting instructions to himself. McKay shook his head sadly, realizing that Sheppard would probably wake up later and not remember anything about what he did or why he did it.

Elizabeth arrived a few minutes later, with Beckett just a few seconds behind. They both appeared out of breath.

"What's he doing?" asked Beckett.

"I think he's replacing the crystals with the correct ones. He still won't respond to me, but he's been talking to himself."

Sheppard backed out of the console and got to his feet as the trio watched. "Should we stop him?" asked Elizabeth.

Beckett opened his mouth to say yes, when McKay said, "No, let him finish. I think he knows what he's doing, for once."

Sheppard passed his hand over the far right side of the top of the console, causing a small door to slide open. He pressed a series of buttons inside the compartment and then moved back to the center of the device, placing his hands on the top surface. The whole console smoothly and silently lit up. Sheppard moved back to the open panel and pushed several buttons once again. Sliding the door closed, he went back to the center and moved three clear tiles around to different locations. He then stood back from the console.

McKay had noticed that his laptop was still hooked up from where he had been working on the device earlier. He walked over to look at the screen as several windows popped up and began to relay information. He leaned over and began pecking on the keys.

"This is amazing. I knew it was some kind of scanner. It's looking for non-Ancient energy signatures. Look, it's found the naquadah generators we're using. This is just . . . amazing."

Beckett began walking toward Sheppard as the pilot turned and took a step toward the door. Sheppard's legs began to fold up underneath him about the time Beckett reached his side, so the doctor grabbed hold of the colonel's arm and lowered him to the floor. Elizabeth and McKay were there beside him about the time Beckett got Sheppard stretched out. Glassy eyes looked up at them as he mumbled, "I'm tired."

Beckett called for a gurney as Sheppard's eyes slid closed. Beckett reached forward, placing his fingers on the side of Sheppard's neck.

"Carson?" asked McKay.

Beckett smiled and nodded. "He's got a good, strong pulse. I think he's just exhausted, but I'll have to run some tests to be sure."

McKay and Elizabeth breathed out a long sigh of relief. "Thank goodness," she whispered. "He's going to make me old and gray before my time."

"Yeah," agreed McKay. "Who knew he'd turn out to be the sleepwalking version of an Ancient technology repairman?"

They looked at the sleeping man in silence for several seconds before Beckett frowned and looked up at them. "How'd he get so dirty?"

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Nightwalker – Chapter 10

He woke up slowly, sounds and feelings gradually beginning to penetrate the fog. When awareness crept in enough for him to realize he was in the infirmary, he felt a moment of panic. He did not yet have a sense of time or any memory of what had landed him here. On top of that, his limbs felt disconnected and heavy and he could not seem to move any part of his body. But as soon as the panic began to rise within him, he felt a calming presence, almost like a comforting hand on his shoulder, easing the tension threatening to overwhelm him. He steadied his breathing and relaxed, letting the sensations soak in as his thoughts became more lucid and memories began to revive. Slowly he found enough strength to move his hands and feet, twitching his fingers and toes and trying to stretch.

The soft murmur of whispered voices began to sink in. "I think he's waking up."

"What? He's waking up? It's about time, my gosh, how much can one person sleep? You better go get Carson and tell him to get over here."

He managed to move his arm a bit and felt the familiar tug of something. He knew this . . . an IV. He found he could move his legs a little and shifted them slightly just because he could. Another invasion, one that indicated he'd been unconscious for quite a while. All he could remember was going to sleep in the infirmary, but he was pretty sure it hadn't involved IVs and catheters.

"Okay, Colonel, beauty rest is over with. The nurse went to fetch Carson and he's going to want to shine that pesky light in your eyes, so you might as well wake up."

He really wanted to open his eyes and see just how much trouble he was in. He wanted to ask McKay what he was doing here and what had happened. But his eyelids and voice weren't quite under his control just yet. It did feel like the ability to twitch his hand had progressed beyond just the fingers, though, so he was making progress.

"Has he said anything yet?" Sheppard recognized Beckett's voice moving nearer as he spoke.

"Said anything? I can't even get him to open his lazy eyes. I know he's awake, I can see his hands and legs moving."

"Colonel, can you open your eyes?"

Sheppard concentrated on doing just that. He thought maybe he finally got them to jerk a few times before quitting in exhaustion. And then suddenly, he was so tired he almost hurt. His limbs took on that heavy feeling again and the voices began to fade. He fought it for a few minutes and then just let it slip away.

oOo

McKay sat typing on his laptop, periodically glancing over at Sheppard as he lay sleeping, making sure the man was still breathing. In spite of the fact the Carson said he was fine, he still looked pale to Rodney. That and he'd been unconscious for three days. Three long days during which Sheppard only moved to breathe, his stillness setting everyone on edge.

McKay had thought the colonel was finally waking up earlier that morning, but it had been a false alarm. Carson said it had been close, though, and that it was probably a sign he'd come to pretty soon. So Rodney had settled down to sit by the colonel's side until he opened his eyes and was actually cognizant again.

Movement caught his eye and he looked up in time to see Sheppard sit straight up in bed. He stopped typing, his fingers in mid-air for a few seconds.

"Colonel?" Sheppard blinked a few times and then slowly turned his head to look at McKay.

"Hey," he said simply, his voice rough and low.

McKay quickly got up and set the laptop down on the floor. Moving to the bed, he poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the table and held it out to Sheppard. The pilot tried to take the cup, but his hand was shaking so badly that McKay continued to help hold it as Sheppard guided it to his mouth. After a few sips, McKay pulled the cup away and set it back down. "Not too much, Colonel."

McKay raised the head of the bed and Sheppard collapsed back against the pillows. He breathed out a soft sigh as he relaxed against the bed, the effort of sitting up having sucked up all available energy. He let his head loll to one side so he could see McKay.

"How long?" His voice was still so weak and soft that McKay could barely hear him.

"Three days. Do you remember what happened?"

Sheppard shifted his eyes up to the ceiling without moving his head. "Not really, just . . . going to bed here."

"You disappeared sometime during the night or early morning. We searched for hours before we finally found you working on the Ancient console, trading the crystals around. Then you just got up and activated it. It works, by the way. It's an energy scanner, looks for non-Ancient energy sources."

Sheppard frowned. "Don't remember."

Rodney sighed and looked down at the floor, rubbing his jaw. "I was afraid of that. I never could get you to answer me, so I figured you were sleepwalking. You collapsed soon after you activated the console and you've been unconscious ever since. Carson said he thought you'd be fine, just exhausted mostly. Are you sure you don't remember anything?"

Sheppard frowned as if thinking. "Weird dreams about Atlantis."

"What kind of dreams?" Rodney leaned forward in his chair, straining to make sure he didn't miss anything.

Sheppard rubbed his forehead. "I don't know . . . I was lost in an old section of the city, I think. It was dark and damp and . . . very, very nasty. I think maybe I fell a lot and . . . I was looking for something . . . " Sheppard shook his head as he trailed off, yawning and leaning his head back against the pillows. "I'm not sure, it's kind of fuzzy. I'm tired."

McKay leaped to his feet. "No, no, no, don't go back to sleep. Hold on, let me get Carson." McKay walked quickly across the infirmary, muttering to himself. "What's with him, you can't get him to go to sleep and now he won't stay awake. What is he, a narcoleptic all of a sudden? Oh, and then he fixes stuff and can't remember what he did? What good is he?"

Sheppard grinned at the feeling of normalcy. He was more tired than he ever remembered being in his life, but he felt peaceful, at ease. Gone was the stress and tension that had been eating at him for the last few weeks. He couldn't explain it, the Genii and the Wraith were still out there and yet he sat here smiling.

"Colonel? Lad, can you hear me?"

Sheppard fought to open his eyes again, surprised that he had allowed them to close. Several blinks later, he was looking at Beckett. "Doc? Hey."

"Hey yourself, Colonel. Good to see you awake finally. Rodney tells me he filled you in on what happened. How do you feel?"

Even as he quit talking, Beckett came at him with the dreaded penlight. Sheppard found himself flinching away, the light stabbing into his head and making him see bright dots after the light was gone.

"A little light sensitive I see. How about the headache?"

"Not until you hit me with the light. I think it's going away, along with all the pretty dots you stirred up. Other than that, I'm just tired, really, really tired."

Beckett continued to fuss, taking Sheppard's pulse and blood pressure before listening to his chest with the stethoscope. Sheppard was beginning to doze off as he finished.

"What's wrong with him?" asked McKay. "He keeps going to sleep."

"Nothing wrong," mumbled Sheppard as he struggled to open his eyes again.

McKay snorted. "Like you'd know, and like you'd tell us if you did. Seriously, Carson, there's something wrong when you can't stay awake more than five minutes at a time. Can't you look this up in your witchdoctor book or something?"

"Well, I admit, I'm a wee bit concerned myself, but in all likelihood, the colonel is just exhausted from the loss of sleep and from the strain of the interaction with that Ancient device he activated. His vital signs are all within normal parameters and his blood work came back clean. Just give him some time, Rodney."

"Time," repeated Sheppard, his eyes now closed, and both men smiled as they realized he probably had no idea what he was repeating, much less what the conversation was about.

"I just hope this experience didn't damage any brain cells, because he doesn't exactly have any extra to lose," commented McKay.

"Rodney, that's not very nice. The colonel isn't even able to defend himself."

"No, I suppose not. It's not much fun either. No point in insulting people if they aren't conscious enough to be insulted."

oOo

Sheppard decided that the third time must be a charm, because when he came to again, he was lucid and awake from the moment he opened his eyes. Gone was the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion and heaviness and he found he could move freely. He wasn't very happy to find the IV and catheter still in place, but he could beg for relief as soon as someone came to check on him.

His head automatically turned to the chair beside the bed, but he was disappointed to find it empty. He wasn't sure why, but he'd fully expected to see Rodney sitting there.

"I booted him out a couple of hours ago." Sheppard turned to see Beckett standing on the other side of the bed. Either the man had developed stealth skills, or Sheppard was more out of it that he cared to admit. "He was driving my staff crazy . . . well, and me too."

Sheppard nodded. "He can do that," he croaked, coughing a bit. He wondered if someone had stuck an old rag in his mouth while he slept, because that's what it felt and tasted like. He tried to lick his lips, but the moisture just wasn't there.

Beckett leaned over to raise the head of the bed and then poured a cup of water. Sheppard's hands were still shaking, but this time he was able to hold his own cup without dumping the contents all over the front of his hospital gown. He took a few sips and handed the cup back to Beckett.

"Thanks."

Beckett just nodded at him. "How do you feel?" Beckett watched his patient carefully, doing his own assessment even as he waited on the answer.

"Pretty good, actually. I'm still a little tired, but nothing like before. Headache seems to be gone and nothing hurts for once."

Beckett took in the relaxed posture and expression and decided that his patient was being honest with him for once. "Good. I think I'll send out for something for you to eat in a few minutes so we can start working on building your strength back up."

"Okay, I could eat. Doc . . . what happened to me?"

Beckett sighed and ran his hand through his hair, trying to decide the best way to answer the question. He finally decided on evasive maneuvers. "That will be a lot easier to explain when Rodney is here, and maybe Kate. I'd also like to wait until we can explain it to Elizabeth and you at the same time so we don't have to go through it twice. It's a wee bit complicated."

"Isn't it always," muttered Sheppard, shaking his head.

"Aye, it usually is. I'll see about that food."

"Doc? Could we take care of some other matters first?"

Beckett grinned as he patted Sheppard's leg. "I've been waiting on you to ask. Now I know you'll be all right. Just sit still for me and I'll be back in a minute."

True to his word, Beckett returned a minute later with some gloves and pulled the privacy curtain. Another minute found Sheppard free of both the IV and the catheter. As soon as the curtain had been pulled back, Beckett took Sheppard by the arm and began helping him toward the bathroom. He could tell the colonel was surprised and frustrated at how heavily he had to lean against the doctor at first.

"Keep in mind, Colonel, that you've been unconscious for four days now. You're bound to be a little weak."

"I know but . . . I really hate this."

By the time they reached the bathroom, Sheppard was supporting most of his own weight. "How about a shower and some scrubs?" he asked, looking forlornly at the gown.

Beckett hesitated. "Colonel, I'm not sure. Maybe you should wait until after you've had something to eat."

"I can do it. Look, I won't stay in long. Just let me wash off the grime and get my circulation going again."

Beckett had no idea how a full grown colonel in his mid-thirties could make himself look like a kid, but when Sheppard was truly pleading, that was exactly what happened. It was like telling a seven year old he couldn't have a puppy. Beckett opened his mouth to say no, and heard himself say yes instead. He was slowly loosing his touch.

Sheppard pulled away from Beckett before the man changed his mind andBeckett found himself suddenly looking at the door. "Colonel, don't stay in there too long and call me if you get into trouble. I'll drop you some scrubs off in a minute."

"'Kay, Doc, thanks," came the muffled reply as the sounds of running water fired up.

Beckett just shook his head as he walked across the infirmary. He sent one of the nurses out for a bowl of soup and returned a few minutes later with scrubs, which he deposited in the bathroom.

"Are you all right?" he couldn't help but ask as he stuck his arm in the door to deposit the change of clothes.

"Great. Be out in a minute."

As he closed the door, Marcy brought him a chart to check over. After reading the entry, he noted a change in the medication order and signed it. When she left, Beckett realized the water had stopped running several minutes ago. He knocked on the door.

"Colonel, you still all right in there?" After several seconds of silence, he knocked again. "Colonel, if you don't answer me, I'm coming in."

When there was still no answer, his pulse quickened as he palmed the door controls. He was a bit relieved to see Sheppard standing there holding his shirt in his hands, his pants already on.

"Colonel, why didn't you answer me? You had me worried there, lad." It was then he noticed the glassy-eyed stare and that the colonel had not moved since he had entered the room. He walked over to stand in front of the man, waving his hand in front of his face. Sheppard didn't so much as flinch.

"Oh, crap, Colonel, what's happened to you now? Colonel Sheppard, can you hear me? Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett snapped his fingers in front of Sheppard's face. The pilot finally blinked a couple of times and looked at Beckett. Obviously somewhat disoriented, he looked down at the shirt in his hands before looking back up at the doctor.

"Hey, Doc. What are you doing in here?"

Beckett puffed out a long sigh of relief. "You wouldn't answer me and I got worried."

Sheppard raised his brows. "I'm sorry . . . guess I didn't hear you."

Beckett took his arm and began pulling him to the door. "Let's get you back to bed."

Sheppard resisted Beckett's efforts to steer him out the door. "Doc, my shirt."

"Oh, right. Let me help you with that."

"I can do it," Sheppard said petulantly as he twisted away from Beckett and pulled the shirt over his head. He got one arm stuck while partially through the arm hole and staggered a bit as he tried to pull it loose. Beckett grabbed his shoulder to keep him from toppling over until he was able to finish pulling the shirt down over his chest.

"Thanks, Doc," he said as he steadied himself. "I'm kind of tired now."

Beckett nodded. "I'm sure you are, lad. Let's get you back to bed. Your soup should be here in a minute." Beckett took him be the arm and guided him back to bed, noticing that Sheppard didn't argue or pull away. He mentally made a list of tests he wanted to run, now concerned that Sheppard was beginning to suffer from some kind of after effects.

After getting the pilot settled in bed, complete with freshly changed sheets, he stood back. "Colonel, after you eat I want to –"

"Call McKay."

Beckett stood with his mouth still open from where he'd been interrupted. Sheppard's expression seemed more focused now, but he was grinning and twisting anxiously in the bed. "What?"

"Call McKay and tell him I need to see him. I know where I got the crystals."

Beckett frowned and tilted his head to one side as he brought his hand up to cradle his chin. "What just happened in there?"

Sheppard licked his lips and looked distant for a second. "I'm not sure, but . . . I think Atlantis was talking to me. I know where I got the crystals, she showed me."

Beckett took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Atlantis was talking to you? How do you feel, do you have a headache, any dizziness?"

Sheppard shook his head, grin still firmly in place. "No, I'm fine, really. I just felt a little weird there for a minute, but it passed. Please, Doc, call Rodney, I really need to talk to him."

Beckett held up his hand. "All right, all right. I'll call him as soon as you eat something." As if on cue, the nurse brought a tray with a bowl of watery looking soup and set it down on the rolling table, moving it so that it was over Sheppard's lap.

Sheppard sat looking at the blue-gray concoction in front of him. He picked up the spoon and swirled it around for a few seconds, noting there didn't seem to be anything solid in the bowl.

"I thought you said you wanted me to eat something?"

"I did," replied Beckett. "That's it."

"_This_ is not food. I'm not sure what it is, but it's not food. It's colored water."

"Colonel, you haven't had any food in your system for four days. I can't very well serve you meat loaf and mashed potatoes. You know the drill, you start out with liquids and then slowly progress to more solid food."

The glare from Beckett made Sheppard feel like a scolded child who had asked a ridiculous question. Yes, he knew the drill, but this wasn't edible, as far as he could tell, and his stomach was growling rather loudly. Meat loaf and mashed potatoes sounded pretty good right now. He wanted something to eat, as in chew.

"What about a cracker or a piece of bread or something?"

"Maybe later. Eat your soup." Beckett stood firm, his arms crossed and his expression stern.

Sheppard swirled the spoon around a few more times, finally scooping up a spoonful and guardedly slurping it up. He immediately dropped the spoon back in the bowl and made a rather unpleasant gagging sound. He grabbed his glass of water and swallowed several mouthfuls. "I know it doesn't sound possible, but it tastes worse than it looks."

Beckett shook his head and looked down, rubbing his hand across his forehead. He finally sighed deeply as he brought his head back up to look at Sheppard. Sheppard swallowed hard, unsure of how he was getting out of this one.

"Colonel, you really are awake." Saved by the Rodney!

"Hey, McKay," greeted Sheppard enthusiastically.

"Oh, and Carson, thanks for calling me when Sheppard woke up like you said you would," said Rodney sarcastically.

Beckett had a shocked expression plastered on his face that he didn't seem to be able to rid himself of. "How did you . . . Rodney, I didn't call you. How –"

"Yeah, I know you didn't call me, and thanks for that. Radek talked to the nurse in the mess hall and called me to let me know." He turned to Sheppard. "I would have been here sooner, but it seems there's been a breakdown in communication around here, and the breakdown is named Carson."

Beckett sighed in exasperation. "Well I was a little busy getting the Colonel settled after he woke up. You know the first thing he does is want all support systems pulled out so he can jump in the bloody shower right away."

"Actually, he was using you for blackmail," added Sheppard.

"Me, for blackmail? Why Carson, I'm flattered. How'd he do that?"

"I told him to call you because Atlantis showed me where I got the crystals, but he said he wouldn't call you until I ate this . . . gruel."

McKay peered over the bowl. "Looks like dirty dishwater to me."

"Hah!" said Sheppard triumphantly. "Even McKay thinks it's nasty."

"You don't really expect him to . . . " McKay suddenly turned and looked at Sheppard. "Did you just say you knew where the crystals came from and that _Atlantis_ showed you?"

Sheppard nodded, the silly grin from before rapidly reappearing on his face.

"Well, hurry up man, eat your soup. We have to talk." McKay snapped his fingers at Sheppard.

Sheppard looked back down at the bowl of gray liquid and frowned. He tentatively dipped his finger in it and licked it off, once again grimacing at the taste. "Okay, here goes. I'm not responsible if it doesn't stay where I put it."

He took a deep breath and held it, as if he was about to dive under water. Picking the bowl up, he tilted it to his face and quickly gulped the liquid contents down. Slamming the bowl down on the table, he wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand while going for the glass of water with his right. A few loud gulps later, the glass was empty and Sheppard looked a bit shell-shocked.

"Are you all right, Colonel?" asked Beckett, taken aback by his patient's quick method of disposing of the offending meal.

Sheppard sat there for a few seconds and then burped loudly. He face registered relief and his expression and shoulders relaxed. "I'm good."

TBC

NOTE: Okay, I got a little more long-winded on this chapter than I meant to. Kind of got caught up in the whole infirmary thing – guess you've noticed my weakness for that. I'll try not to dawdle too much more. Thanks for being so patient.


	11. Chapter 11

NOTE: You've made it to the last chapter. Thank you for the many reviews – you guys know that I love you, maybe even better than chocolate. Sorry for the delay of a day. The last day of school proved to be VERY busy and I just had absolutely no time to work on this. Hopefully, you'll enjoy enough to forgive me. Have a good one!

Nightwalker – Chapter 11

By the time everyone was assembled in the infirmary, Beckett was way past second thoughts. He was beginning to wish he'd loaded Sheppard up into a wheelchair and had the meeting in the conference room. Of course, it had started out as a simple meeting between him, Kate, Rodney, Elizabeth, and Sheppard. Somehow it had grown to include Ronon, Teyla, and Zelenka by the time they were ready. Extra chairs had been pulled in for some, while others sat on surrounding beds.

Throughout the steady inflow of bodies coming to participate in or listen to the discussion of exactly what had happened to Sheppard and why, McKay relentlessly questioned Sheppard about the crystals and how he had talked to Atlantis. Beckett had wanted to eavesdrop on that conversation, but there was too much commotion for him to hear much. When it looked like everyone was there and he knew the meeting was about to begin, he edged his way over to stand near the head of the colonel's bed.

"Colonel, are you sure you're up to this? You're looking a bit tired and we could just as easily do this tomorrow."

"I'm okay, Doc, but thanks." If he was honest with himself, Sheppard was bone tired. The trip to the shower, force feeding himself dirty dishwater (as Rodney called it), and all this activity was wearing him out, but he desperately wanted to understand what had happened. Mainly he wanted to know if he could expect to continue sleepwalking, because that could get him grounded indefinitely.

Beckett patted Sheppard's shoulder. "I don't believe that for a minute, so I'll be keeping my eye on you and shutting this party down as soon as possible."

Sheppard grinned, as he would have expected nothing less.

Beckett cleared his throat loudly, getting everyone's attention. "I'd suggest we get this thing started or we'll be quitting before we're done. Colonel Sheppard is already beginning to tire and I'll not have his recovery going backwards. All right, there's no easy way to explain this and I won't pretend that we understand it all yet. We all have a piece of the puzzle, so we're going to lay those pieces out and see if we can put them together in such a way that this makes sense. Kate, why don't you start?"

Beckett sat down in a chair someone had pushed over beside him.

Kate nodded. "Colonel, I know you and I have only been able to meet a couple of times, but I've picked up a few things from those meetings. First, we know that you did a little sleepwalking as a child as a response to a traumatic event in your life, so the propensity for sleepwalking is there. Second, we know that you have a strong, driving desire to save and protect those you love. Last, we know that your first episode here was the same day that you and your team were captured and held hostage. You and Elizabeth and Rodney were threatened particularly harshly. Connecting those dots, it would appear that the mental anguish of not being able to protect those around you, combined with what you thought was the death of Elizabeth, may have been a trigger for the sleepwalking to return. After carefully looking at your history, however, I do not think that one event such as this would be enough to do that. We think it was only part what caused you to sleepwalk."

Sheppard rubbed the side of his face and leaned his head back against the pillow. Why did everything have to be so complex? "So what's the rest of it?"

McKay's face brightened as he realized he was up next. "I'm glad you asked that, Colonel. In going back over everything that happened and the timeline of events, we've discovered that your headaches and sleepwalking started about roughly the same time that Radek and I started working with the Ancient console."

"Wait a minute, I didn't touch that thing until a day or two after I went sleepwalking the first time."

"True," said McKay, holding up his right index finger. "But you did come down to the lab while Radek and I were working on it. We went back and analyzed all the readings we took while working on the thing and the times you tried to turn it on. From the time we put those crystals in there, the console was giving out this weird energy reading. It was faint at first, but stronger every time we rearranged the crystals or had you try to activate it. The weird energy reading went off the scale during those power surges when you were trying to turn the thing on."

Elizabeth frowned. "Wait a minute, what kind of weird energy readings?"

"All of the Ancient technology produces energy readings of various strengths. The energy output is part of the system that interacts with the Ancient gene and allows those with the gene to activate it. In this case, the crystals were the wrong ones and/or in the wrong place and that caused the energy signature to be . . . warped. I think it was similar enough to the right energy output to try and interact with the Ancient gene, but it had a negative effect, producing the headaches and maybe partially responsible for the sleepwalking."

"Hold on a second," said Sheppard skeptically. "I'm not the only one with the Ancient gene. Why was I the only one affected?"

McKay grinned. "I'm not sure you were. Carson, have any headaches the last couple of weeks?"

"Well, I had a couple . . . let me see . . . oh, yes, it was about the time we were doing the sleep monitoring on Colonel Sheppard. I wasn't getting much sleep around then and I was getting worried about the colonel, so I wasn't surprised when I ended up with a headache or two."

"What? Did I hear that right?" inquired Sheppard, his eyebrows slightly raised and a smirk forming on his face. "You had headaches that you didn't report to any of the medical staff. Is that what you are admitting to?"

Beckett puffed out a couple of breaths and then crossed his arms defensively. "I just told you, I knew why I was having headaches."

"Oh, you mean things like stress and lack of sleep? So you're saying since you had a valid reason for having headaches, you didn't feel the need to, oh, say, run to your doctor and tell him."

"Yes, that is exactly . . . oh, I see your point."

Smiling ear to ear, Sheppard snorted. "Guess I'm off the hook for that one, huh Doc?"

Beckett shook his head and looked at the floor. "Yes, Colonel. I can't very well scold you for doing something I was doing myself."

"Buy why was Colonel Sheppard affected so much more than anyone else?" asked Teyla. "Is it because his gene is much stronger?"

"Partially," said McKay. "I think the fact that he was in closer proximity than anyone else with the natural gene is also a factor. Since my gene is artificial, my reaction was much like Carson's, even though I was also close to the source. I had a couple of light headaches that I also attributed to lack of sleep and stress."

"We could almost start a club," said Sheppard.

McKay rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "Yes, Colonel, we could start a club," he said in that tone he reserved for people making idiotic comments. "Anyway, it seems that every time we got the crystal set up closer, the energy spike was stronger and Colonel Sheppard's reaction was more severe."

"Colonel Sheppard was also only one trying to activate console," added Zelenka.

"How could that cause someone to sleepwalk?" asked Ronon.

Beckett stepped up to answer the question. "We still aren't sure. There were some anomalies in the colonel's EEG about the time he began to sleepwalk. Those are not caused by the sleepwalking, so it's safe to assume they are from an outside source. I think our choices on that are the energy spikes from the Ancient console or Atlantis attempting to communicate. We still aren't sure if Atlantis caused the sleepwalking or simply took advantage of it."

"So, basically, you still don't really know what role the two things played in the sleepwalking?" asked Elizabeth.

"No," admitted Beckett. "We do know the sleepwalking was at least partially caused by outside factors, but we don't know which one or if it was the combination of both. We are in agreement that the colonel probably would not have had his nightly wanderings if he hadn't had the combination of the previous inclination, the mental stress to fuel it, and either the console or Atlantis."

"So, does that mean my sleepwalking days are over?" Sheppard asked, his eyes wide with hope.

Beckett smiled. "Probably. The console is fixed and your stress levels are down. We'll know in a few days."

Sheppard let out a deep breath. "Thank goodness. So, when do I get out of here?"

"Not for a day or two, Colonel. You're still pretty weak. You've been out of it for several days, remember. And I'm still not sure what this talking to Atlantis does to you."

"Speaking of that, you never did tell me where you got the crystals," said McKay.

"Oh, yeah, that. Well, you go to the transporter at . . . no, that's not right. Okay, you need to head to sector three . . . McKay, you'll just have to wait til I'm out of here so I can show you. I can't give you directions."

McKay sighed and shook his head. "And this is our head pilot. Scary. Very scary."

"Play nice, McKay, or I won't show you at all. By the way, there are several other crystals and a few other parts that can be salvaged down there." Sheppard tried to stifle a yawn, fighting the pull of sleep that was starting to take hold. He had been able to feel his eyelids getting heavier for several minutes now.

"Why did the Colonel nightwalk . . . sleepwalk while we were on the mainland?" asked Teyla.

"That was probably a combination of things," replied Beckett. "Apparently in the beginning, the mental stress was very strong, but the console's energy output was weak. As time distanced the colonel from the stress he felt over the incident with the Tellurians, the energy output of the console was getting stronger, making up for the lack of the mental component. We think he was carrying enough residual effects from the console so that it combined with the mental stress and possibly the food he ate, causing him to sleepwalk even though he was, at that time, removed from the energy source."

"He's trying to say it was a fluke," said McKay. "I have a question for Kate. Are you saying without the console or Atlantis one, Sheppard probably wouldn't have started sleepwalking at all?"

"Of course there's no way to know for sure, but I doubt it. He may have suffered some nightmares or some restless nights, but I doubt he would have gone sleepwalking. I would like to talk to the Colonel some more about is connection to Atlantis. I think we should keep an eye on that as it develops in case it causes problems."

"I agree," said Beckett. They all instinctively looked at Sheppard, his head leaned back against the pillows and his eyes closed. His expression was completely relaxed, thus removing the typical lines of stress or worry or pain that usually creased his forehead and radiated from his eyes.

"He looks much younger when he is sleeping," commented Teyla.

"Yes, he does. And sort of . . . innocent," added Elizabeth.

Beckett, McKay, and Ronon snorted at the same time. Everyone began to laugh, causing Beckett to shush them all several times, after which he insisted they leave. After he had escorted McKay to the door, still grumbling about having to wait for his crystal hunt, he returned to find Elizabeth standing beside Sheppard.

Elizabeth gently stroked the cheek of her sleeping second in command. "I'm glad you're okay, John. I'm really not sure I could run this place without you. Although some days I wonder how I run it _with _you." She smiled and let her hand fall to her side. "You're a very unique person, John Sheppard. And even with all your quarks and your obsession with protecting everyone and your inclination to get yourself into trouble, I don't think I'd change a thing. You're a good friend, and a person never really gets many of those in life. So you sleep and take care of yourself so you can keep reminding me that we don't leave people behind, not to mention keeping Rodney on a bit more even keel. Good night, John."

Elizabeth turned to find Beckett watching her. She blushed slightly as she walked toward him. "Just a little pep talk. Never hurts."

Beckett smiled knowingly. "No, lass, it certainly doesn't."

oOo

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" asked McKay, trudging along behind Sheppard. The team was dressed in full gear, following Sheppard on a crystal hunt in the far corner of Atlantis. The colonel had been released from the infirmary three days ago, but Beckett hadn't released him for duty until today. Sheppard was of the opinion he had only released him then to keep McKay from having a stoke or seizure because he couldn't go look for the crystals, but he wasn't about to argue.

"Yes, I know where I'm going . . . well, mostly." Sheppard stopped and looked down the long, dark hall ahead of them. The area was in the lower levels that had been flooded, apparently on numerous occasions. The air was heavy with dampness and the smell of mold.

"Mostly? You're kidding, right?"

Teyla and Ronon stopped beside the two team mates. "What's the problem?" asked Ronon.

"He's lost," said McKay.

"I'm not lost, I just can't remember if we turned left at the third or fourth corridor."

"We?" asked Teyla.

"Yeah, me and Atlantis," replied Sheppard, as if that was a normal response.

"Lost," repeated McKay.

"Look, it's not like I can just stop at a local gas station and ask directions," said Sheppard defensively.

"Why don't you just ask Atlantis?" asked Ronon.

McKay snorted, but Sheppard just looked thoughtful. "Good idea," he said. Sheppard closed his eyes and stood still for several minutes. Eventually, he began to sway slightly. As McKay reached and and touched his arm to steady him, he opened his eyes and smiled.

"We turn left here." He turned into the corridor on the left and pointed his flashlight down the hallway. Amazed, his teammates followed him silently for several more minutes. Sheppard stopped and stood in a doorway and then slowly entered the room.

"Okay, McKay, we're here."

McKay stepped into the room and swept it slowly with his light. The room was a tangle of damp, mud-covered debris. To say it was water damaged was a serious understatement.

"This is it?" he asked, disappointment evident in his voice. Even as he said it, his light hit a console that had the front panel pulled off. He walked over and aimed his light inside. The interior was layered with mud, but it had been disturbed recently and most of the crystals were obviously missing.

"The consoles are all damaged beyond repair," said Sheppard, suddenly beside him. "But the crystals are all still functional. Atlantis said you might be able to salvage some other parts as well."

McKay looked slowly up at Sheppard. "You got them out of here? No wonder you were filthy."

"What?"

"When we found you installing the crystals in the console, you were very dirty. Now I know why."

"Oh. I don't remember."

McKay stood up and looked at Sheppard, standing there looking at the console. "You okay?"

After a few seconds, Sheppard looked back at McKay and smiled. "Yeah, just . . . feels kind of weird, like I've been here in my dreams or something." Sheppard shook the feeling off and pulled the pack off his back. "Shall we gather some crystals while we're here?"

"Yeah, and then I want to look around and see what else there is."

They spent three hours collecting crystals and other parts and just poking around in the surrounding labs and rooms. They were taking a break when McKay discovered the time. "Hey, we've got to get back."

"Why," asked Ronon. "Do you have somewhere to be?"

"No, but Sheppard does. You have an appointment with Kate in an hour and it'll take us at least that long to get back." McKay glanced down at his uniform. "You may need to clean up a bit too. We'd better go."

Sheppard shrugged his shoulders, but didn't get up. "I can reschedule. We're already down here, so we might as well look around some more."

"Oh, no you don't. We're going back."

"No, we're not," Sheppard snapped. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"Because Beckett told me I'd better have you to Kate's office on time or he'd make me regret it at my next check-up. He didn't want you staying down here too long and he wants you to continue your sessions with Kate. This was his way of seeing to both things at once."

"Funny thing, I can't remember how to get back," Sheppard said, fake innocence thick in his voice.

Teyla and Ronon looked at one another unsurely. "Colonel," said Teyla. "Perhaps we should go back."

Sheppard walked over and sat on the floor with his back against the wall. "Go ahead and start back. I'll be there in a minute."

Teyla and Ronon shared another glance, after which they gathered their gear and headed out the door. McKay looked at Sheppard. "Are you coming?"

"In a minute," he sulked.

McKay looked down the hall to where Ronon and Teyla had disappeared and then looked back at Sheppard. After a few seconds of indecision, he walked over and sat by Sheppard.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, McKay, just go."

McKay sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm a genius, remember? Something is obviously wrong, so what is it? If you can't tell your best friend, who can you tell?"

Sheppard smiled. "Best friend?"

"Yes, and don't act like you didn't know. Even you aren't that dense. Now, in case you haven't noticed, it's cold and dark and damp down here, none of which are on my favorite things list, so if we could just hurry this little pout session up, I'd appreciate it. Talk."

"I don't want to talk to Kate any more."

McKay waited for the rest of it, but that was all Sheppard said. "That's it? You'd rather sit here in dank city so you don't have to talk to Kate? This is sweet, Colonel."

They sat in silence for a few moments, before Sheppard spoke, his voice sounding rough and weak. "She always wants to talk about my mother. I just can't do that any more."

McKay swallowed hard. "What happened?"

Sheppard pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on his knees. "She died of leukemia when I was twelve. Kate keeps dragging it up and telling me I haven't properly grieved or something like that."

"Wow, twelve, that's young. How did you and your dad get along?"

"We got along pretty good before mom died, at least when he was home. He couldn't stand to look at me after she died, so we didn't talk much."

McKay's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Why wouldn't he look at you?"

"Before she got sick, he used to tell me I looked like her, that I had her eyes and her hair. 'You're the spitting image of your mother' he used to say. After she died, he wouldn't look at me. I think it reminded him of her and it just hurt too much."

"Oh, that's tough. It's hard to know what's worse, losing someone you're really close to or living with someone you want to be close to, but aren't."

Sheppard nodded. "Yeah, I've done them both, and neither one is fun." He let his head roll to the side to look at McKay. "Is that what happened with you, the latter?"

McKay sighed and stared at his feet. "Yeah, it was like living in a houseful of strangers. I wanted to be this close-knit family like everyone else seemed to have, but it just wasn't happening."

"Sorry, McKay. I guess we're both a bit dysfunctional. Kate would really have a field day if she knew . . . never mind."

McKay looked at Sheppard, his eyes wide with interest. "What? If she knew what?"

"No, never mind."

McKay snorted and sighed. "You can't do that. You can't wave something in front of my face like that and then jerk it away. You _have _to tell me."

Sheppard looked at McKay, surprised by the gleam in his eyes, visible even in the dark. "Okay, but you can never, and I repeat, never tell anyone. I've never told another soul and I better not hear that you did."

McKay's mouth dropped open slightly. "You're really going to tell me something you've never told anyone else? Cool."

Sheppard sighed, wondering if he was going to regret it. "Yes, but only because you're my _best friend_. I can trust you, right?"

McKay nodded vigorously.

"Okay, when I was a senior in high school, my dad took an overseas assignment that would have him gone for at least a year. He left me with the family of my best friend. Tyler had been my best friend since junior high and I practically lived over there anyway, so we just made it official when he went away. Three months later, Tyler's dad got transferred, leaving me with nowhere to live."

"Where did you go?"

"I didn't want Tyler's dad to worry about me, so I paid a kid from school to help me move my stuff out and tell them I was going to live with his family until my dad came home."

"But you really didn't go live with him?"

"Heck, no. Tommy hated me and I hated him. He only helped me out because I paid him. There was an abandoned house at the edge of the base that had been empty for a while. I knew it was in too bad a shape to assign to anyone, so I moved in there. I had a part time job at the grocery store to help buy food and stuff. I think old man Clements suspected what I was doing because he was always giving me dented cans and almost out of date meat and milk and stuff."

McKay stared at Sheppard incredulously. "You mean you were homeless your senior year of high school?"

"Not really homeless, just . . . parentless. I did okay. I have to admit, no electricity or running water was kind of inconvenient, but I could take care of myself."

McKay shook his head and sat silently for several seconds, letting the new information sink in. "My god, no wonder you're so screwed up."

Several seconds later, Sheppard glanced back at McKay. "Is that what you really think, that I'm screwed up?" he asked softly.

"Well, yes I think you're screwed up, but not in the way you think. I mean you function as well as the next guy, you've just got all these 'save everyone else, I'm not worth it' hang ups that get on my nerves. You're kind of like the Energizer bunny video."

"You're comparing me to a pink bunny rabbit?"

"Yes, but once again, not in the way you think. Some friends of mine made this video about the Energizer bunny. In the video, bizarre creatures and thugs and natural disasters all keep knocking the bunny down and trying to destroy him. He gets really beaten up and torn up, but he keeps popping up and going and going and going –"

"I know about the going thing, I've seen the commercials. So you really _do_ think I'm screwed up."

"No, you're missing the point, as usual. Gosh, Sheppard, you really can be thick sometimes. The point is that even though events and those around him sometimes gave him a hard time and tried to beat him down, he kept going. He never gave up, he never quit. You're a lot like that. I've seen you go through hell, and you keep popping up and going, thank goodness without that stupid drum."

"So I'm a bit damaged, but not completely broken."

McKay rolled his eyes. "Yeah, something like that"

Sheppard nodded. "I guess I can live with that. But I still don't want to talk to Kate. It's giving me nightmares. I keep dreaming about my mom dying, but lately the Wraith end up in there at some point. She's . . . moving too fast, I think. I just need some time to deal with everything that's happened before I move on."

"You know, I could talk to her for you, ask her to lay off."

Sheppard sighed. "Wouldn't help. She thinks of me as a challenge."

McKay laughed. "Yeah, you're right about that. But she does care and want the best for you. I think if I tell her about the nightmares and that she's moving too fast, and that you've been talking to me some, maybe she'll give you a break."

Sheppard perked up and looked at McKay hopefully. "You really think so?"

"I do. Why don't we go back and get cleaned up. I'll go by and talk to Kate and meet you in the mess hall."

Sheppard grinned broadly. "Thanks McKay. This whole best friend thing may work out after all."

oOo

Sheppard waved at McKay as he came through the mess hall door. McKay was surprised to see that Sheppard had already procured two trays loaded with food for them.

"What did she say?" Sheppard asked anxiously before McKay had even had a chance to sit down.

"Whoa, boy, down. She was very receptive and even apologized for rushing you so much that you'd been having nightmares. She agreed to lay off your sessions for a few weeks if you'd agree to talk to me periodically and in your own time and then see her again in about three weeks for a follow up."

Sheppard grinned and slapped McKay on the back, almost knocking him out of his chair. "You're a genius, McKay!"

After McKay had righted himself, he frowned at Sheppard. "Hello, you're just now figuring this out? Where have you been the last two years?"

"Oh, here and there. I just don't like to tell you too often so you don't get the big head."

"Too late for that, as if you hadn't noticed. Now that I've saved the day once again, how about telling me how you talk to Atlantis."

Sheppard squinted his eyes and looked across the room, as if deep in thought. "I have no idea how to explain it. I can feel the connection, I can feel the city sometimes. It's like a presence, but one you can't see, you just feel. She tells me stuff, but not with words. I just . . . kind of suddenly know things." Sheppard shook his head.

"When she led you to the crystals, was there a . . . body or form that was with you?"

"No, nothing like that. I could feel her guiding me, leading me, but I didn't actually see a person or anything. It was all up here," he said, pointing to his head.

"In more ways than one," said McKay sarcastically. They ate in silence for several seconds.

"By the way, thanks, Rodney."

McKay's expression softened. "What are friends for?" His eyes lit up at the sight of Sheppard's chocolate cream pie. "Hey, are you going to eat that?"

THE END


End file.
